A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend now for 10 months. i love him so so much. we spend most days together. we cant get enough of each other. He's sweet, caring, funny, and responcable. He's almost 16 and im 14.He works on saturdays so we normally go to one another's house in the evening. Last week he invited me round to his on the saturday night. His parents and older sister were out so we had the house to ourselves. We have done most other things but never made love. we have discussed it although we both agreed we wanted me to be on the pill. Im not currently on it. Anyway, he had cooked a lovely candle lit dinner on this one night and i thought that sex was where we were heading..i want to so much but am scared and confused because i want it to be perfect. i dont just want to do it. i want to be able to lie in his arms afterwards all night..not have to jump up n rush to put ur clothes on whenever u hear a car go past.we have both said that its what we want. However it really seemed like that it was his intention on this night. i want to give my verginity to him soo much and no1 else. should i wait so it will be perfect or do i do it now while i have the chance. I dont want us to brake up over a stupid and poinless arguemnt and not have givin him it. Yes i look at it as giving it to him..its my way of saying how great it is to have him in my life and to show him how much our love means to me. i cant think of giving it to any1 else. what do you think? anyones oppinion would be great. thanks alot X JJ X
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 March 2007):
 If you love one another so much then a silly argument will not cause you both to break up. You are only 14 years old and no where near ready for such a big step. I know this is not what you want to hear but if your boyfriend loves you as much as you say then he will wait until you're 16 before having sex with you. You say you love him so much..... so much that you want him to break the law and maybe even go to prison for having sex with a minor...? because technically, whether you like it or not, that is what you are!
Continue to bond with each other and think just how special it will be when you are the age of consent. If he truly loves you he'll easily wait. If he pressures you then it's not love but lust. If you pressure him then you're being unfair to him. When you do eventually make love together then it will be special... and lawful too.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007): For wisdom's sake and to prevent pregnancy, wait until you are on the pill and wait until you mature more and with it gain more wisdom to see this from eyes that can see down the road; right now you are still of an age where 10 years from now seems forever away and that it is in your youth that you should have love.
Love isn't sex.
If this young man loved you and respected you, he would encourage you to wait until you were of a proper age and had your parents support.
It is easy for a young man to say there is nothing to be afraid of because should you end up being pregnant, I doubt his parents will advise him to do what is right and marry you and help you raise the baby.
I say run this idea by your Mother or Father and see what they say.
No, then you KNOW this is not a good idea.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (11 March 2007):
 You sound very mature and sensible and it's obvious from your post that you've given this a lot of careful thought. What I would ask you though is if your boyfriend is so perfect and wonderful why not wait until you're 16? The one part of your post that bothered me was the part where you said you want to give it to him just in case you break up. If your relationship is so weak that you think it's possible you would break up over a "stupid and pointless argument" then perhaps he's not the right guy. The guy you sleep with should be one that you're sure about in every way. You also need to remember that even though you both want sex your boyfriend could be charged with rape if anyone finds out about you having sex because you're underage. Okay so it probably wouldn't happen but are you willing to put your boyfriend through the trauma of something like that? However if you're 100% sure this is the right thing for you go on the pill as soon as possible and if your boyfriend has had sexual partners before use condoms too. Don't let any guy tell you he knows he's clean because no non virgins can know that. Also never rely on the pullout method. It does not work!
CD
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