A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help, I don't know what to do. This is a long story and very confusing too. I'm in a relationship for 6 years, on and off. When i said on and off, I meant, i was looking a better different bf. However, my current bf and I fight all the time. Always bc of very little stupid stuff. I dont think he understands me. I need someone who cares for me, pays attention to little details. but this current bf, he doesnt. He loves me, but just his personalities i guess, he easily tend to forget things. He has bad temper which i do not like the most. We like things which are completely different. i've tried to tell him that we need to break up. Everytime, even when he found out that i went out on a date with different guys, he was mad, hurt, upset, etc. i told him, we need to breakup but he always turns the situation around and cry, beg me to get back with him. he always said he will kill himself, hurt himself, things which scare me. I dont want anything happen to him. Everytime, when he does that, i just dont want to see him being like that, i agree to get back with him. I do care for him, but i think the sparks have been gone. i dont know what to do...i have a different guy who i know from work, we are very happy when we talk to each other, this guy tends to understand how i feel. I want to get to know him more but with my bf's current situation. I dont know what to do. please help me!!! i think 6 years are a long time, i dont want to drag it on anymore but, my bf keeps saying, how can i throw away 6 years, how could i want to break up? what should i do???:Cry::Cry: :Cry:
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male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 Just like wants2behappy said, your boyfriend is emotionally blackmailing you. The odds are, he probably won't kill himself if you leave him.When someone threatens to harm themselves in an ultimatum, it's generally a last ditch effort to maintain control in a relationship and drag it out a little longer. It's generally pathetic, but people who aren't ready to breakup and don't want to be alone will often use it to stay together.You only get one life, so it's all about making you happy. Number one comes first, not anyone else. If you're unhappy with him and want to leave, then do it. It's your life and you do have control over it.When you try to leave, if he pulls the suicide threat card, then suggest to him that he seek help if he really wants to kill himself.He probably won't hurt himself. But that's not a guarantee, that's why it's smart to let someone know about his threats on his own life. Whether its his friend or brother or sister or parents. It's not an easy thing to do, but it will give you peace of mind, and in the very unlikely event that he is considering self harm, he will have friends and family already there ready to help him through this hard time.In the meantime, do what's right for YOU and not for him. Goodluck!
A
female
reader, wants2bhappy  +, writes (31 January 2011):
HIThat's not an easy situation. I would like to concentrate first on his begging and crying, etc. that is nothing else than emotinal blackmailing. he knows that you will give in if he does that. he says he will kill himself. I had a boyfriend and he was the same, begging, said he would kill himself if I leave him, etc. I left him and guess what: He didnt kill himself, he found a new girlfriend in 4 months. Try to think about what you want from him. if u dont want anything from him, if you know u can b happier without him, then leave him, because life is too short. Especially if you already started thinking about this other guy..that is not fair to your current boyfriend and no point to be in this realtionship/ 6 years is a long time and simply u can get used to him. But be yourself,think about yourself, which sound selfish, but you have to live YOUR life and not his. Good luck to you and b happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): hmmmmm lol he sounds like my bf. Overly sensitive. Which is good and bad. Lol i have found that if ur always looking for someone better u will find someone. I tried the same thing as u and thought i found someone better from work and turns out the first week the guy cheated on me!! So just remember all guys are gonna try to ^market^ themselves to u and make them sound betttter than they are. I just look at it this way....if this guy truly loves u and ur wanted out he may put a huge fight to stop u but if thats what u want then go for it. Just never forget grass isnt always greener on the other side...unfortuantly. :(
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