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female
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anonymous
writes: I want to get revenge on my bf for what he did but i dont know what to do. I want him to regret leaving me cuz i was the best thing that ever happend to him.He didnt cheat on me......he said that he dont want a relationship right now and just wanted to be friends for now so i agreed.....Well i see him on the weekends from time to time cuz i hangout with his roomate....(his roomate is like my bro nothing between us) *p.s i dont want to get another bf for revenge......thats what everyone says i should do but i still love him very much not ready for anohter bf*
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 Step back. Step back. This is why relationships make me sick at times.. The relationship doesn't work and someone is bound to get hurt. It's the way things go. You just cannot take out your hurt on him just because he was being honest with you. He actually should be commendeded for this. Would you rather him end it like this or pretend on loving you then possibly cheating on you and/or just wasting your time on something that is not working at this time?
You may want to rethink your feelings on this especially if you still have feelings for him because if it's not working for him now, it doesn't mean it will never work.. he may after a month or 2 realise what he left and might want to get back with you.. then the balls in your court to take him back or not. He deserves nothing but your respect for being honest with you about it and you should realise that and not let your emotions get the better of you. Hurting or getting revenge on him will only damage any chance you have with what appears to be a good honest man out there whether it just be as friends or possibly lovers once more. Take a look around and see how other guys could have treated you or ended things.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 Slow down. Take a few deep breaths and finish this sentence:
"My ex deserves my anger because..."
Why? Because...
...he didn't love you at the exact minute you wanted him to?
...he was completely honest with you?
...he was man enough not to pretend something he didn't feel?
You're completely on the wrong track here! This guy was *good* to you! Surely you wouldn't have wanted to be with a person who didn't love you back, but *pretended* to? That's what you seem to want from him.
Not every relationship you have (or will have) is going to work out as a "forever" thing, and you'll be a lot less sad if you quit pretending that it should. Sometimes people meet at the wrong time in their lives. Sometimes the attraction isn't mutual. Sometimes the spark burns itself out. That's the way human interactions will always be, because you're dealing with flawed, ordinary people.
If friendship with your Ex is too hard, that's OK. You're perfect normal to feel angry and hurt for a while, and not to act friendly to him, if you don't feel you can. But don't blame him because he didn't love you! And "revenge"..? I can't think of ANY time I'd recommend it. Relationships aren't a playground game, and you'll have better ones when you raise yourself up from that junior-high-school level.
-Bev
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006):
You should rethink your priorities.
Go volunteer handing out meals at Thanksgiving and then decide if you really want to be making the world a worse place by making him miserable. All the rippling damage that he then causes would also be on your head.
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A
female
reader, marie78 +, writes (20 November 2006):
All women go through this... trust... there's no need to get revenge. The best revenge is to move on with your life. Now, if you want him back, then as a 'friend' start throwing other mens names around to make him jealous. Ask him for advice on men... pretend you're seeing someone else. make plans with him, then cancel, because "Steve"- the new guy you're seeing- is having a crisis right now and you want to be with him (put in work). Just pretend that you have an active dating life... or you can do 1 better... actually go out and start dating new guys. Good luck Or when you're watching tv with him, point out the hot guys- just say, "damm, I'd do him. This type of talk will drive him up the wall. Or ask him a question about sex, say... 'you know how you sue to like it when I did such and such... do you think all men like that? " Mess with him
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (20 November 2006):
 Hi Girl,
Please take this from someone that got revenge on somebody that hurt me through relationships. It is the most EMPTY feeling you can ever get. Yes, you will feel a good tinga for a short time, maybe a day, but your own feelings of guilt will overwhlem you. Guilt has the ability to stay with you, longer than any pain.
I got revenge on my ex-fiance, and years later when her and I are on good terms (you can read all about it in my autobiography From Loser to Seducer, as well as my ex-fiances review of the book) that guilt is still with me.
You can not constantly seek revenge on people who hurt you. Like you pointed out, he was HONEST with you. He did not cheat, and just was honest with you about his feelings. If you react bad everytime someone is honest with you, you will teach EVERYONE around you that you need to be lied too all the time. That is not a good life.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): What will getting revenge do to make you feel better? It won't get your boyfriend back and will make you enemies forever? With this attitude it does not sound like you were the best thing that ever happened to him, but the worst.
Just let it go, cry, vent to your friends, hit a pillow, you are angry and hurt and it is normal, but those feelings of rage will pass, and if you do something now to get back at him, it will only be yourself you are hurting because you will sorely regret it when you calm down.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 November 2006):
 Whoa Chickie! Your boyfriend was upfront and honest with you! No reason for you to want revenge, (it's never worth it even when somebody's done something really rotten). But in your case he acted with total respect towards you. You just need to stay busy with your friends and get out and meet people. Try to have some fun, he may come around in the future and you may meet someone else even more special. Chill and good luck.
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A
female
reader, blackncute  +, writes (20 November 2006):
No need for revenge my dear, just move on with ur life, forget about him.
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