A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i in the middle of trying to get over some one who i was not with but some one i really liked, but now hes got a new girlfriend. i have such low self esteem at the moment which doesnt really help but i was wondering if anyone has any tips to share to help me get over him? xx
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female
reader, EvaReid +, writes (3 August 2007):
My advice might contradict my actions, but it might help. I'm in the exact same situation! I briefly dated someone two years ago, he's had a new girlfriend for over a year who he seems to be completely in love with, and I'm still trying to get the guy out of my head. I think the best thing I've done to help myself through this is to focus on why things didn't work out in the first place...then consider what the outcome would have been if you had become more serious. Realistically, would it have worked? What were the reasons it didn't work the first time? Did you have closure when you stopped dating? I think closure is the hardest part - acting on it and accepting it. However, do you think he might still be interested in you? Lots of questions to ask yourself, and I realize the situation is always emotionally complicated! Once you find some answers, you might be able to confront the situation a little better. Hope this helps!
A
male
reader, Stanley Cup +, writes (27 July 2007):
I recommend that you go out and do things in social settings. If you go out to the pub there are going to be other people there for you to socialize with. Now while you are there don't just sit in a corner sipping your drink. Get up and play darts or billiards with other people. Or if you don't like the pub scene, go to a place that has something to do with one of your interests. The important thing is to socialize with other people. You may feel somewhat awkward starting up a conversation with new people. Don't worry, almost everyone feels insecurities when meeting new people. Something that might help you in this type of situation is if you notice something interesting at the moment, comment on it to the person and ask them what they think about it.In regards to your low self esteem, this might sound cheesy, but it will help. Several times throughout the day, tell yourself positive things, like how attractive you are, what a great a catch you are and how lucky a guy would be to be with you. This WILL help. However, it is quite likely that when you are meeting someone, that you will start wondering if they will like you and other such things that will affect your self esteem. Instead of wondering if they will like you, ask yourself if you will like them, and if they are worthy of you. Good luck and I hope this helps.
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