A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over cheating boyfriend? I am in college and me and the ex were together for a year. I feel like he just stayed in the relationship for sex but I am not sure, Well around the 8th month I started talking about going to WA and he would always try to convince me to stay but then christmas break came and we spent some time apart. I checked his fb and he messaged girls I always tried to convince my self that I could make him be the same as before but things just got worst we talked about the break up and he would no longer talk about me staying I asked why and he said he loved me too much to stop me (I know bullshit, right?) Well January came and he wanted to go to a party I was mad about it because I always told him how boys only go to parties to hook up, he denied it and I said fine go but old be back at 12. He didn't come back I called him at 3 and he came back drunkoff his ass and I forgot to mention that I cried the whole night because I had a feeling he cheated that feeling was only solidified when I saw he added some girl on his snapchat. Well sunday was awful we talked about breaking up, he said no. Monday came and I did not see him until 8 and after that we took a shower together he said how he thought I was too short and other stuff. Tuesday morning I found messages on his phone about monday him meeting up with a girl from the party he was the one initiating everything to meet up. I confronted him, he said he didn't love me anymore and to leave things like that and left he did not even apologize, he took his stuff from my dorm and left. I cried it was the worst week of my life. I wanted to know who the girl was. Did he ever love me? Well I got on his fb and he told his friends I was holding him back. I realize I did not matter to him. Its been a month and on saturday I saw the girl at the rec I was gonna trie to be friends but for what? I just want to get completely over him, because I miss him when I am alone.
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 March 2015):
While it’s still recent and raw, just don’t be alone whenever possible at the moment, eventually you’ll come to terms with this breakup and realise he was bad news and that you deserved better: better than a cheat who insults you and makes you feel bad about yourself. If you miss him, just tell yourself that it’s okay to miss him, and that you’re probably thinking about how you wanted things to turn out, rather than how they actually did and would have if you’d continued to see this man. Realise that you would be even more unhappy if you were with him, having seen what kind of person he really is. There is no quick fix for this other than time to be honest. I would caution you against some of the generalisations I saw in this post: boys just go to parties to hook up? Not always true, many guys in a relationship would never hook up with anyone at a party, but might go to see friends, relax and have a good time. I worry that if you give in to judgements like that, and don’t judge everyone as an individual, you may have trust issues in the future. Your boyfriend went to parties to hook up because he was a dishonest cheat. That tells you nothing about boys, or parties, just about him and why you’re better off without him.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 March 2015):
 He never loved you but you must never think that's because something's wrong with you or you didn't try enough. He was never in the mindset to be in a relationship and does not know the meaning of commitment. You cannot make someone love you. They have to want the same things as you at the beginning and you have to look for actions and not just listen to words. You will get over him. The faster way is to reaffirm that you are worthy of love and you will find love again. Then you stop checking your facebook, his whereabouts and your rivals and move on. It has nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with his character.
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