A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I tell my mum I want to get married soon?So I've been seeing my bf for a year now. He's really sweet and totally into me and wants us to get married in a few years soon. I love him and we make each other happy. He's now ready and wants to meet my mum but he wants me to tell her about him first.But I'm kinda shy/scared. Not sure what she will say. She's my best friend I tell her everything but I haven't mentioned to her I'm seeing someone but I have a feeling she knows.See my mum is not like most mums. Whenever I bring up marriage and guys she tells me to graduate and get a good job first.I have graduated and I'm looking for a job and doing training to help gain experience.So how should I start to tell her about him? I'm an adult 24 but my mum never talks about relationships with me:(
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 August 2014):
 Try looking at this from a different perspective.
You suddenly announce "hey mum, I am getting married to this random man - you don't know anything about him, but everything is ok"
Now... reading it like that, you can see why she might be a little concerned.
She doesn't know this boy even exists, let alone that you have been dating for a year. If I did that my mother would kill me - she would want to get to know a potential son in law, to include him within the family.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 August 2014):
 Oh I thought you had a ring and a date...
"get married soon" to me means within the year.
you go on to say "in the next few years" that's plenty of time.
you are 24
you have graduated
how about "mom I want to bring [insert boyfriend's name here] around to meet you... can we plan a bbq or something?"
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (19 August 2014):
I agree with your mum. Graduate and get a good job first. If you really want to marry your boyfriend then you would have been proud enough to have told he already. Don't rush your life, being married is no magic wand to happiness.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (19 August 2014):
 I wouldn't tell her you want to get married right away...
Introduce your BF to your mum first... let them meet a few times and get to know each other first, then tell her that the both of you are serious and planning on getting married.
Also, if it makes your mom feel 'safer' opt to get engaged with your boyfriend first. Then maybe a year or two after engagement, after you've held a job for a while, then get married.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 August 2014):
 Introduce them to each other.
Then let us know how that goes.
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