A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been in a relationship with a guy for 5 years now and we love each order but the problem is that he is 23years old while am 26. This has been bothering me for a long time now cos i want to get married by next year and looking at him he is not yet ready to settle down that is financially and i want to ask what i will do pls i need an answer b4 i do something stupid.thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MartiniBaby  +, writes (23 January 2009):
Sit him down and have a conversation about it, yea it may be something that you want to do but you have to consider him into the situation too. You don't want to rush into a marriage and then have problems and you two actually sit down and think about it well maybe we weren't ready after all, and finacial problems conjure up arguments too. So I say you wait until he has himself together, make sure that he is willing to get it together so that you know you will not be the only one pushing trying to make life better. Marriage is a mega responsibilty and if you want your boat to have a smooth sail you have to make sure the water is steady and be prepared for those suprise storms and rapid waves because, problems come out of nowhere before you even thought it could happen. Just be patient, people who rush don't get what they actually wanted in the end... =] hope I helped
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 January 2009):
 I am a bit notorious for turning a question around... why do you feel the need to be married by next year? Is there some societal or personal reason you've set for yourself that you have to be married next year?
There's an old expression in the States: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". What it means is that you can't force him to want to make a marriage commitment if he's not ready to do so of his own free choosing. Frankly, if he's not ready to make that commitment, there's little that you could do to force that choice and make the decision for him. Time together or the age difference has little to do with the level of commitment he feels. Everyone comes to these decisions in their own good time.
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