A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,could you please help me with this…..I have been in relationship with my partner for year and half. I have to say, from the first few months of knowing her I felt that we might not be right for each other, but I kept saying to myself no one is perfect, and people can change, so I gave her a chance and put up with her attitude. The fundamental problem was that she could only see herself and her career, it was like my needs, my feelings, my career even my love for her had to be sacrificed no matter what!! I always believed in sharing, caring, and doing things for each other and together, but she believed in money, making money, and her job only and everything else was secondary!!.She could never accept she is wrong, and she had a very low and bad temper, which as a result we could not communicate effectively, she could not ever listen to me, but only could shout and force her arguments to me like a bully. I could not tolerate that anymore.Things went from bad to worse, and I had enough of all her endless demands and her selfishness, and her attitude and we got separated recently.I dedicate my love, my life, and feelings, to her with so much genuine and emotional feelings for almost two years, and I find it hard now to understanding why and how I got myself involved in this ? and why I put up with it? I keep blaming myself for it, but I never knew the extend of her bad attitude and short temper. I have a mix feeling, of blaming myself of why I didn’t cut this relationship long time ago? I feel emotionally hurt, as I first fall in love with her, and then she showed me her other side!!! I find it hard to believe that someone can be so two faced! because for the first few months she was a totally different person to who she turned out to be!!.I know we possibly wouldn’t have a good future together, I know that it was a mistake, may be my mistake of staying with her, but I find it hard to fight all these feelings inside of me, on the other hand I am thinking if she really and truly loved me she wouldn’t have moved on like this so quick. She told me once she is very cold hearted, and she kind of saying it as she was proud of it!!, I ignored that comment at the time, but now I know very well what she meant then. She has done this before to many others, using them and leaving them. I was no longer serving the purpose for her. Now I just want a way to get her out of my system and forget her, but my love for her was so strong, I open my heart to her without any protection, without any intention but love, but that is what you are supposed to do, when you are in love isn't it?. But feeling wise I find it hard to cope with it! I know that maybe the time will be a healer but I have nightmares at night, about the whole thing! what can I do?it sounds crazy but I still love her!!!Please adviceThanks very much for your time
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female
reader, zecky +, writes (20 January 2007):
it takes time, time to, in a way, grieve, and to clear up your emotions - confusion anyone? but yeah, and then, when you're ready, maybe take it easy, open your doors to meet someone new. you deserve love - and under the heading'love' comes respect, trust and compassion. i know it all sounds like theory, but you'll get there. find a good friend who would listen to talk to, yell to, get an ice-cream with. hope that helps =)
A
female
reader, melschatbox  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 You were in a bad place for long enough, time to get out! Move on..laugh, live, and love. Find a woman that we'll share more of herself with you not one that wants to dominate you and berate you to make you feel small and meek. That's no life for you. She has deep seated issues that she has "teethed" on you long enough for. Letting go is one of the most difficult feelings to let go. Sometimes two people are just like oil and water and they will never mix. YOu'll be okay...it takes time. You did the right thing! :)
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (19 January 2007):
 To have a good relationship, love is not enough. You also need respect and a lot of understanding.
Abuse and arguments are not sign of respect and I do not think you are compatible to be together.
Of course this hurts, as you wish things were different but you can make her change.
If the woman does not consider your feelings, do you want to be miserable again?
You need to be strong, get out there and meet another girl worthy of your love.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Heres what to do
1) organize a night out with your mates
2) Remove anything in your home that reminds you of her
3) Remind your slef of how lucky you are to have got out of the relationship before it got worse
I hope this helps
xx
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