A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hey all new to this site. Look I know how most of you feel about affairs. Sohere it goes. I am in love with this man he says his relationship with his wife is gone. They have been married for 30±yrs. No I don't feel bad. He spends most of his time with me. I've never pressured but now this has been going on for almost 2 yrs. I'm 41 him 56. I want to tell him its me or her choose, but scared of his answer. My question is how can I tell him? By the way for the last 2 yrs I have not dated anyonelse he dosent even like it when I talk to other guys who jave been my friends way before I met him. Please tell me what to say. I'm ready for a new begenning with or without him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): Hi, you say that you don't feel bad , so what do you now want. do you want us to condone your affair? unfortunately you will not get that from me. you will be destroying his family, his wife of 30yrs. do you care. no. since you do not care what do you want? for him to leave his wife and get with you. ok, then tell him. also realise what you will then be creating a vacancy for a mistress to take your place. then what? actually do not feel sorry for the wife any more but for you. plse wake up and smell the sh1t for what it is. you are just his mistress. he is getting laid both at home and with you. which man will not relish this life. he is eating at home and with you. lucky devil man.booty call/ just sex with you - you name it, you are providing it to him. you are now nothing more than a high priced prosti the only difference is that he is not paying you for it. two years, and nothing. you are in your prime yet you are waiting for this man to leave his wife for you. baby, since you are the warm body in the bed, just accepting your position as his mistress, he will not make a move to change this situation. why wait for him, you decide. either you continue to be a mistress or keep some dignity and end things. if he wants you he knows what to do. leave the wife, hope the wife gets the hefty divorce settlement. you, unfortunately may just end up being his stable partner/wife BUT he Will have another mistress on the side. After all he is used to a bit on the side.
A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (27 March 2009):
Most men will not leave their wife for another woman if they were maried for 30 years, I am sorry. Also, putting pressure on him will probably remove what he liked about being with you: it's pressure-less, while his wife probably puts him pressure to do things in life or take important decisions (or even about money, in those difficult economic times)
However, if you are unhappy with this situation, you might want to make a move: a life long of unhapiness is not worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Since you haven't ever pressured him, you need to just bring it up if you see an opening. He has no clue how you feel inside if you haven't told him. Casually mention that it's been 2 years and that you've become somewhat unhappy with the arrangement. Or if you're feeling brave and bold about it, tell him it's time to talk and lay it all out there. Just keep in mind that this is gonna hit him from out of nowhere, and he's gonna be mad. I'm not saying not to have the talk with him, just to be mentally prepared for his reaction.
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A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (27 March 2009):
I have to say I am amazed you'd want a man who has the cheek to moan about you being friends with people you know from before he was ever in your life, while he gets to go home to his wife every night.
Here's my take on things. He either loves his wife to bits as after 30+ years he's with her for a reason. You are just 'fun' if he wanted you he'd have you.
Or 2nd he's a nasty bully and stays with his wife because she conforms to his demands, his wife would probably dance and sing if he set her free. Personally if i was his mrs i'd say you were welcome to him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 March 2009):
 Tell him to piss or get off the pot. But since he's been able to string you along for two years, I'll bet he will be able to keep on stringin' away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): Tell him the time has come to grow up and decide - if he loves his wife enough not to leave her, then you know.
Star.x.
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