A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok.. I am going to make this short and sweet and I hope there are other people out there that can relate.I am a lesbian and I am completly IN LOVE with my girlfrind. We have been together for going on 2 years now and I cant picture my life w.o her! We have broken up a few times and in between I have seen other people.. as far as I know.. she has not. I even once continues to see a person once we got back together ( and regretted it like hell) I feel like she loves me and she would do anything for me and my son.. My son and I moved from another state about a yr ago so I could be with her. We are so different though. And I don't mean we listen to diff music or cant have fun together... bc those simpes things we do have going for us. But when it comes to thing like conversation and emotional needs.. honestly.. neither one of us meet them for the other. but we stay together bc we love each other.. we often find that we are fighting over such small senseless things. I know without a doubt that I want to spend my life with her.. but sometimes we aren't happy.. =/ is this normal?? I also feel guilty for not giving her what she needs. I am needy and I want her to tell me im pretty and i want her to do "small little thoughtful things for me" thats my "love language" and when she doesnt ever do them it upsets me a lot.. Well I dont really sit and listen to her very well and i am aware of that.. im adhd or something =/ but I feel quillty for not listening to her bc I know how upset it makes me when she doesn't give me what I need.. I want to fix our relationship and be a better girlfriend. I want her to go to work and go about her life with thoughts in her head about how good things are and be able to feel lucky and proud of our relationship.Hopefully someone can help!! Thanks!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): first and foremost, no relationship will ever be perfect, no matter how hard you try and how bad you want it to be. she's not perfect, and you're not perfect. so don't beat yourself up too much about not having the perfect relationship. it's unrealistic. just be glad you have that love for each other.
so basically you want the little things? the simple, daily reminders of how she feels? and she wants to be able to communicate and spend time talking to you? and you two just can't get on the same page?
have you both tried meeting in the middle? you work on sitting down and making a point to try and listen better, and she work on being a little more romantic or emotional? if you've tried and still just aren't getting it, maybe you just never will. but as long as you two know - and it sounds like you do - that you love each other, just accept one another for who you each are. it sounds to me that you know she would do anything for you and your son. that's obviously how she shows her love. just accept that. if you can learn to accept each other, you can't go wrong.
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