A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I find my boyfriend quite controlling and am trying to break up with him. Last weekend I went out with a girl friend and he was texting all night saying he missed me and then at 2:30 he phoned me when I was asleep, saying I should be with him and accusing me of sleeping with another man. Then he sent a couple of texts saying as I obviously prefer not to be with him, goodbye, take care.Then further texts apologising, saying he didn't mean it. Next day loads of texts apologising. He didn't remember the phone call. Anyway I went round after a couple of days and told him I don't want to be with him anymore but he just talked and talked about how great we are together and the only reason he made the phone call was because he had drunk top shelf drinks which he never normally does, and that he promises he will never touch them in his life again as he is mortified.Anyway I stayed for dinner then stayed the night and then it seems we are together again.Last night I phoned him and told him again I don't want to continue the relationship, I want to end it, he says Oh Love, I want you to have a wonderful life, and I want to make you happy. We are so good together, we have all this potential together. I want to have children with you and travel the world with you etc. Talked for an hour and a half, purely him, I was just listening, too tired to say anything apart from half way though said, I just want to be on my own now.Now he is texting all the time and saying he loves me and misses me.I can't bear it, I don't know how to make it stop. I feel sick.I have got the keys to his house and a few things there, I want to go and get them and post the keys through. I've tried to do it face to face and now by phone but I feel like I just have to do it now and maybe send an email.He is also now leaving messages on my facebook wall, saying is everythig OK etc, I feel like leaving facebook.I'm just so tired of it all. How can I make it stop?
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female
reader, crummyscreenname  +, writes (8 January 2012):
this sucks. It's really hard because guys are good at pushing your emotional buttons to get what they want. And even if you don't want to be with him, that doesn't mean that you hate his guts enough to want to inflict the pain of a breakup on him.
Good for you for being brave enough to tell him face to face that you want to end things. That takes a lot of guts. But as the other posters have said, you have to be firm with him. If you can't deal with him face to face anymore, it's ok to just send him a text message saying that its over and then proceed to do what the other posters have suggested- avoid him .And if he keeeps trying to contact you, keep track just in case you do find that you need to call the police. You probably wont- he probably just hasn't accepted the breakup yet (I know it takes a long time for breakups to sink in to me, so why not a guy?)- but just in case. Keep your butt covered.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 If you really want it to stop, you would block his phone number, remove and block him on FB and viola! No more texts, phone calls, or FB messages. The beauty in technology these days is that you can individually BLOCK people you don't want to communicate with.... That is IF you want to be without contact. My guess is that you like all the attention, love confessions and drama. It does the ego good, doesn't it? Makes you feel loved and important. Face it, you know how to stop it, but you're not doing it, so why the hell are you complaining?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 January 2012):
 Stop talking to him, stop reading his texts, stop replying to them. Basically, tell him, I'm done and then BE done.
Block his number, un-friend him from your FB, cut him out of your life and move on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 If he was controlling and possessive and afraid to say that he is not going to let you go easily. Go and collect your stuff when you know he wont be at home then post his keys back through the letterbox. Block him on face book so he cannot contact you and drop him an e-mail and tell him you where serious that it is over and you do not want him to contact you again, tell him if he keeps it up you will change your number and contact the police. It will get better in time, its just at the moment he cannot accept that it is over so he keeps pushing, but once you drop all contact with him stick to ignoring him and he will soon get the message. Good luck.
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