A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, bit of a long question here. So I am a 22 year old male who has never dated or even kissed a girl. I hadn't really thought about it until recently. Seeing quite a few of my friends getting into relationships be it through Facebook statuses or hearing about it has put it on my mind a lot more. Throughout my high school and college career I have been incredibly shy, especially when it comes to talking to girls. I am usually crippled by that shyness unless they talk to me first. Now, I have never been one to conform to certain things in life or be pressured into certain situations and I most definitely don't want to get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one but I can't help but feel like I want something more and someone special in my life especially when a large percent of my friends have already been in relationships and started dating at a much younger age than me. Recently I have been trying to put myself out in more social situations such as playing on co-ed intramural teams and going to the pub on campus but like I said my shyness gets in the way of approaching girls, especially at the pub when a lot of them are with their friends. So my question is this, how can I deal with these conflicting feelings of wanting to find someone special but usually feeling too shy to initiate contact with a girl?Any help is appreciated. Thanks :)
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male
reader, human_male  +, writes (1 January 2014):
 I would keep doing what you have been doing in trying to put yourself out more, but don't worry about dating or asking someone out just yet. Get into situations where you can meet and talk to women platonically. Try interest groups or church or anything where you can be introduced to people and spend time with them and get to know them in a completely neutral, friendly environment. Then talk to as many people as possible. You will get practice just talking to women and hopefully get over your fear.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (31 December 2013):
 You do realize that women are just as shy as you are right?? So you are in a room with shy girls, you a shy guy...and who starts the conversations...NO ONE! So you leave feeling sad, and she leaves feeling the same way too.If you are buying coffee at a cafe, and the person behind the counter is a woman, do you run away and not buy your coffee?? Of course not. You just ask for what you want right? Why? Because at that moment, your mind is not in control of your fears. You are simply on auto pilot. But when you put thought into your fears of rejection...you get shy.Wanna talk to girls? Just talk...Hi, my name is... Ask anyone in a relationship what was most likely the first thing that was said..."Hi" :)Girls are human too :) What is courage? Being afraid to do the right thing, but doing it anyways.
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