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female
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*tuckInARutt
writes: I met my partner 3 years ago..i knew he was cheatin on me with Junkie hookers and that he took class a drugs. Yet I thought that I was number 1/ his throphy missus!! We had our ups and downs he put me in hospital,went to jail, left me! He broke my heart many times! We got back together last year after two months apart..but then he left me for a 17yr old i'm 21 he is 31! He went back to jail she left him he came back to me! We broke up I found out I was pregnant and we got back together. He has given up drugs completely and is a great dad to our 10wk old daughter. Problem is we dont talk..i feel like crap, we never go out, we dont have a sex life it feels like brother and sister! He knows i'd never stop him seeing our child I even said at the beginning he could live with me as a mate. I've tried EVERYTHING to sort us out but he blanks me, it's all one sided. It's depressing me yet again and I really dont want to feel like this around our child. I'd rather have him as a friend than not at all! He says he tries ie: he mops the floor and washes up, gives me a peck now and again! I want to feel sexy and desired I want to grab his attention like the others! Why does he push me away but wont let me go? I was a size 14 through pregnancy and randy as hell-he pushed me away! 10wks after birth i'm a size 10 without trying. I try to spice things up I always go without so he can have what he wants. I'm so confused. Is he just taking me for a ride again? I feel so useless and ugly. What did these girls have that i haven't? Why doesn't he want to work at things and have a good life? why does he wanna stay in a rutt? why doesn't he love me?
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female
reader, lonely85 +, writes (2 May 2006):
It is nothing wrong with you sweetheart. He sounds like he's playing you again. This guy has got problems and he needs to work them out and fast before he ruins his life and yours. If you can't work it out, then you should leave him. It is not doing you or your child any good to be with a man who is not willing to have a loving happy family.
A
female
reader, lostgirl04  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Sweetheart, this is not your fault, the one with the problem is him! I think you've done enough for him and he can't see what a great person he has backing him up and supporting him. I'm glad he's off the drugs but if he still wants 2 stay in a rut it's not your problem anymore. I think he's still an immature man and is obviously unstable. You don't need some1 who is going to treat you like his sister. Everyone wants to feel desired and sexy and I'm pretty sure there is some1 out there who WILL make you feel that way. It's understandable that you want to continue with him, after all he is the father of your daughter but he needs to realize what a prize you are. And if you're always around and there for him he's going to continue taking you for granted. You should put your foot down and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't like it let him leave. He will one day realize that you were special, but by then you will be happy and will have moved on. You can be happy with your daughter. He can still see her if he wants. But don't continue to show him so much love and attention. He doesn't deserve it. Don't feel useless and ugly. I'm sure you're a beautiful girl, all women are beautiful and we don't need men to realize that. Good Luck. =)
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A
female
reader, Heathergirl +, writes (1 May 2006):
Sweetheart, I feel for you, I really do. I was in a very similar situation to you and for me the answer was to get the hell out of it. He's not a good man, not for you, himself or anyone else. He's violent, abusive, selfish. You cant save him, but you can save yourself and the wee one. You have to look after number 1 in your life and thats your child. If he's a good Dad, then great, but he's not a good partner. Its hard to hear this, but I think you know its over too, dont you? Be honest, but be safe. You know him best, how will he take the news? If you still love him (do you?) tell him to go and get himself sorted out. That you need him to do that for the sake of your wee family. Your very young, he's constantly been unfaithful, does drugs and does jail time. Have you friends? If not, get some. Get to a mother and baby group, have you considered further education? You can get childcare provision in most colleges. Get a life of your own, build your confidence and self esteem, you need to set a good example for your baby. Use your family, if they're about and supportive and see the world a bit, even if its only once every month, get out and act like the 21 year old you are. Good luck with your life and keep safe. Take care. Hx
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