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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a male friend who I messed about. I am 13 and have really really strong feelings for him. People say I dont know what love is but i do. Anyway...we snuck out late one night in the summer and he convinced me that i was horny although i was not. i ended up straddling him and then he fingered me and told me he loved me and always has done since the day we met (when i was 8). Then he tried to kiss me but i wouldnt let him as I thought he would regret it. He got really mad (which is a very rare thing as he is the 2nd calmest person i know) and tried again. So I got off him and he started to shout abuse at me. I still have feelings for him and he gets mad every time I mention them. We normally get on really well but things have been really rough between us lately. I told him i never want to see him again because i need to let go. He's really mad now and I have turned depressed. Did I do the right thing? What should I have done? And should I have let him finger me? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2006): You definitely need to decide how true your friendship is with this guy. You cannot have any sort of a relationship with someone who uses you and tells you what you want to hear and then all of a sudden verbally abuses you. If you are as close as you say you are then maybe sit down and talk with him, tell him how you are feeling and tell him that you would like to understand why he is angry, it could turn out to be his issue and nothing to do with you!
In the meantime stand strong with him and don't let him knock you back, if he is your true friend he won't want to see you feeling the way his reactions have made you feel...do not let him convince you to get physical unless you really really want to...don't do it for him because take it from me honey that won't make him want you more.
Stick to your gut, approach him about it and if he is still behaving in that way then he doesn't deserve you as a friend, move on. I gaurantee he will regret in time!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): (this is the person who wrote the question and i choose to remain annonymous.) I'm not talking to him.
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A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (1 May 2006):
 you know isnt worth it*
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (1 May 2006):
To me your relationship between you and this guy isn't a healthy one. this guy knowing your 13 year old girl talked you into making your friendship in to a physical relationship for his own pleasure. he then went on to tell you he loved you and when you express your feelings to him he turns abusive and vebrally attacks you. this guy sounds as if he's using and abusing you friendship to get what he wants, that his feelings for you are untrue.
(many guys i know say i love you to get what they want from a girl. this is never the girls fault when someone says i love you expect for there words to be true.)
even if his feelings are true would you really want to be in a relationship with a person who verbally abusive towards you which as led you feel depressive.
it's not for me to see say whether if you should of let him finger you or not but i think that when you enter into your next phyiscal relationship just make sure your ready, make sure he's worth you time. you dont want to regert your give your virginity to a guy you know is worth it.
for your own emotional well being i think you should rethink your friendship with is guy he hasn't treated you well. he doesnt deserve your time just move on.
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