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male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I love girls and love a lot of them. I have probably fallen in and out of love with more than 10-12 girls so far in my life. I am 23 yr old guy and have always been like this since my childhood. I loved to be in company of girls and always fancied of being in love with them. As I started growing up, I would go more closer to them and share a very intimate relationship with them. But all this would be just a matter of months or sometimes even less than that. I would fall out of love soon and move on, sometimes, leaving a girl questioned, confused or craving for more. I can't sustain a relationship with a single girl.As I have become an adult, I tend to not go too close to girls due to my past experiences, but my actions and gestures make girls feel that I am interested in them or love them. We share this psychological connection without talking to each other much. But the same pattern continues. I am passionate about a girl, want to fall in love with her, and when she responds as well, after a while, I lose all the passion and move away from her. Sometimes, I feel I am too much kind to fall and stay in love with a single girl. Sometimes, I feel that love ends when you try to possess someone you love. Generally, when I like a girl, I try to act kind to her and make her confident (if she is not) and happy. I can literally see her mood changing from being sad and bored to happy and lively. And this feeling gives me a kick and I keep doing it. But I won't commit to anyone as I wish to spread this as much as possible.Am I living in my own fantacy world or have I got some problems?
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reader, pops +, writes (14 September 2005):
Yes you have some problems! You are in a state of arrested development, in that you are masterful at making women comfortable with you, and can talk them into bed, but you haven't a clue what love is. You love yourself, but can't seem to love another. You say you like women, but I am suspecting that you don't like them all that much. They are merely bodies to test your verbal skills and sexual attractiveness on, and once you have conquered them, you are no longer interested. Get some mental health counseling. There is usually a reason for this occurrence, and with arrested development, it is usually some emotional trauma that occurs within 2 years of when the behavior starts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2005): No doubt you have left a trail of broken hearts on your path through life and no doubt you have never truly been in love with anyone. When you truly love someone you will not lose interest in them. It sounds like what you are going through is lust.. and it dies quick.
Why not when you meet a girl try to be yourself, and ask her to do the same. It will save alot of trouble in the end. Most people try to be something there are not when they are first in a relationship, to impress the other person. Then after a period of time it gets old and then you no longer want to impress the person and move on.
Be honest with the girls the date. If it isn't going to go anywhere let them know from the start, and they will be prepared for what lies ahead. Then if it don't work it won't hurt them so bad. It is a good feeling to make people happy but when you destroy them after you do then you have done alot more damage than you would have if you would have been straight up with her in the beginning.
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