A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok here's the thing, I am 21 and single and am wondering if there is something wrong with me... but before anything... I was sexually abused when I was in my teenage years for a long time by a family member.A few years ago I gave my heart to God. I believe he healed me and am totally over my past abuse... or so I think. I am really picky about who I talk to, who I get close to. I do guard my heart and am not really impressed with guys. I know I have this wall over me when it comes to guys. I just be careful because I do believe that they are after one thing. It just fustrates me that I can't find anyone to love me for who I am..... for me to love them too... cause I want to experience that. I never had a boyfriend. My question is this - is there anyone that experiences this also? What's wrong with me...........?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Well I was sexually abused also...but instead of putting up a wall I was more vulnerable....I had sex with almost every guy I had met because I wanted them to like me...because I did not feel loved and I wanted to know what love felt like....and of course those guys only used me...I felt damaged but god has helped me through....anywho that has affected who Ive met so far to a certain extent because now I put up a wall because I feel like if I have sex with him..then he may leave but when I withold the goods they still leave...I've been hurt all kinds of ways to the point where I've wanted to give up...because somebodies always taken..or they are just not interested/..or they only want one thing...so I've pretty much never been in love also..I've never had a man love me romantically...I have no exact answer as to why you have no one but I can tell you what makes you better... self acceptance..I feel like love from a man is no longer a need like it used to be..even though it will be good to have it....but you will finally meet someone when your day comes until then just live life happy with yourself..and that special person is going to come for you when you least expect it.(:
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): There's absolutely nothing wrong with you dear, nothing at all. You have been through and survived a really horrible experience at your young age. I'm really sorry about that. But you have overcome it and are strong now. It is very natural for you to be distrustful of men, considering what you have been through, who wouldn't be? And I think that is a good thing! You are young, and I'm sure that you will find the right man for you. But don't be in a hurry ok? After what you experienced, I'm sure you are thinking all men are after just one thing, but they are some really nice men in the world, who would treat you with care and understanding and love you. Not all guys are jerks, it's just that we remember the bad ones. Take it slow and trust your heart. I'm sure you have built up a wall as a defense against men but you are aware of that, and that's important. Just take it slow. There's someone special out there for you! Whenever we are hurt, it's just automatic to want to protect ourselves, that's survival. It will take time but when you meet the right person, you will be able to open yourself up to them. I promise.
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