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*ut2do?
writes:I am trying to find a way to end a relationship with a woman who has simply become too obese for me and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Is there anyone who can give me some advice? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wut2do? +, writes (10 February 2010):
wut2do? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, "YOUR" obviously the one who thinks I see myself as perfect. (not hard to figure out)
I re-read the comments that I posted yesterday and I don't see one single hint that would make one think that I was having a tantrum. Those words were written by a very calm person. Just as these are.
I wish you would create an account and reveal yourself. I actually like you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Well. who's having a tantrum, sometimes i can't be bothered to write everything in full,as its not just you we COWARDS reply to, grow up and take it on the chin
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A
male
reader, wut2do? +, writes (9 February 2010):
wut2do? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the cowards who judge me by saying "I suppose your perfect" and "Make sure nobody will dump you when you get fat, limp and bold" while hiding behind "Anonymous", I say this:
1. I have never claimed to be perfect...never will. I Never claimed to be perfect in my question.
2. If someone ever does dump me for being "Fat, limp and bold", I probably will deserve it and I'll have to learn to live with their decision.
3. You both need to learn how to spell and use words correctly. Having no hair on your head is spelled BALD not BOLD. And the abbreviated word for "you are" is spelled YOU'RE not YOUR.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): poor woman i suppose your perfect, please dont tell her thats plain cruel but you should maybe encourage her to be healthy whilst you take a course reminder on love and values
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A
male
reader, wut2do? +, writes (5 February 2010):
wut2do? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. Her weight is not the only reason why I want to end the relationship and I do believe that she would be extremely devastated if I said that it was. I am not a shallow or superficial person by any means, as she was obese when I met her. We've only been seeing each other for 3 months and in that time she has gained about 20 pounds or more. I'm not a small man at 6'- 215 lbs. but I am quite muscular and trim. Just so you know the difference, I'm guessing she weighs about 275+ lbs. What initially drew me to her was her personality and her sense of humor. I was having trouble finding those qualities in the women I was meeting so I thought I would give it a try and see if I could get over the weight issue. I tried, I honestly tried....but it's just not working out. There are more issues (many of them mine) but I'm not going to get in to anything more. Again, I thank you for your replies and suggestions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): Sure, just make sure , nobody will dump you , when you get fat,limp, and bold.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (5 February 2010):
 I beg of you, PLEASE don't tell her that you are ending things because of her weight! That is a very cruel thing to do, even if it is how you truly feel. It could really devastate her. Obviously you have a right to your own wants and desires, and if you aren't attracted to her, then you just aren't. It seem rather sad though. I'm assuming your relationship then was based mainly on looks? Because most people if they truly loved someone wouldn't break up them over weight. But anyways, please tell her something else..almost ANYTHING would be better than telling her she's too big.
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female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (4 February 2010):
 You can use any reason other than her weight. As others have said, you obviously don't love her! But don't crush her self esteem by blaming it on her weight!
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female
reader, xxxsabsxxx  +, writes (4 February 2010):
do you love her? because if you have fallen out of love with her, then i dont think the issue is weight atall. and how long have you been together? if i were you, i would make a diet plan and exersize regime for her, and help her through it and do the exersize with her. maybe cook her some of the healthy meals. if she wont change, tell her you just think the relationship wont work anymore as you just just so different from eachother. dont give up on her just yet though, please help her lose weight as it is very hard xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): It is obviously something other than the weight. Because if you loved her it wouldn't matter and you'd accept her for who she is, no matter how huge she is. If she lost weight, would you still want to leave?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): This is a difficult one. How big is she? Is there any chance she could lose some weight. Does it really put you off that much? If she is otherwise right for you maybe you could exercise together. If however you feel it won't work maybe then you either have to tell the truth or give some other reason such as you are not ready for commitment or some such. There is no easy answer to this one. My ex partner left me because he said he wanted me to lose weight (even though he me a size 16 - he wanted me to be a size 12) but then later said 'it wasn't just the weight' .. As a woman, I would prefer the man to be honest but some ladies may not take too kindly to being told you are leaving because they are too big for you. Whatever you do, be tactful and careful because you could damage her self esteem badly.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 By all means give her another reason. Overweight women struggle with their self image as it is, and losing weight at that age is extremely hard. Why not tell her that you just feel like you are growing apart, or you aren't ready for a steady relationship and you need a break from each other so you can see other people. Then gracefully make your exit.
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