| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been having an affair off and on for the last 8 yrs, with the same person. I have been married for 18yrs. Right now I am trying to figure out how to stop seeing this man that I know is not for me, although I love him deeply and I am so excited when I hear from or see him. My heart races and I can't wait till we meet or talk again. How can I end this and get over him after so long?
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Oh dear, I dont agree that it is simple (answers below) I have been married 16 years and had an affair for 5 years, this is an identical situation to yours. It was still as exciting the day we finished as it was the day we met, the sex, the sound of his voice, the touch of him but I made the decision to stop living the double life and make my marriage work. That was 6 months ago, My lover was gutted but now is happy again with someone else. The problem is I couldnt make thinkgs work with my husband, my life was empty without my lover and by the time I left my husband, which I have now done, it was too late and he had found someone else.
Be very careful you make the right decision, you could ruin everything with your lover and still not be able to make your marriage work. After 8 years with someone else, there obvioulsly isnt a whole lot left to work on.
Why not try being single for a while and maybe date your lover and see how it goes, you dont need to jump straight into another marriage. Im afraid I agree with the last answer, in my experience, and it is almost the same, this man does in fact seem to be the one for you. How would you feel if he found someone new? Let me tell you you would be heart broken.
I am now without either of the men I was with and although it has taken many months, I can now see light at the end of the tunnell. Please dont throw it all away through guilt. I think maybe your marriage is finished, you just need to make the break....
A
female
reader, cowlick28 +, writes (20 September 2005):
Are you sure that this man is not the one for you? You say that you've been having an affair with him for 8 years and yet you still get the same trembles at the sound of his voice or the touch of his hand! It sounds to me like you are more in love with this man htan you may realise and by finishing with him could have devastating effects on your happiness. I suggest that if this man is the one you want and not your husband then you should be open with him and tell him that you'd like to become more serious. If he has reservations (after 8 years of being with you) then he is not committed to you and you need to set yourself free from him, without ever looking back.
Of course, there is still the problem of the marriage. I think you should take a good look at your husband and try to remember the last time he made you feel weak at the knees? How do you REALLY feel about him? Could you save a lifeless marriage and turn it into a second honeymoon? Or should you just up sticks and move on?
I'm afraid i can't give you all the answers, only you know what is in your heart, i just tell it as i read it, all i know is that you MUST break it off with at least one of them, for everyones sake, especially yours!! Good luck honey and let me know how it goes i'm at hotmail.com!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Dodgy Rog +, writes (20 September 2005):
Why don't you find another man to have an affair? Someone even better than him! (Although I'm unfortunatley unavailable) If that doesn't work get yourself a little furry dog. You'll get loads of loving off it (And you shouldn't catch any STD's from the little pooch! If you do then you might seriously need help)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): It's very simple. Let him know it's over. Then don't take his calls, don't go anywhere you might see him. Take a good look at your HUSBAND and decide whether you want to finally start acting like a married woman if you do then quit being a tramp and take care of your man. If you decide you can't behave then divorce your husband so he can find someone who will be faithful to him.
...............................
|
