A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend wont let me go away for a couple of weeks without getting very upset.I've been going out with my girlfriend nearly a year and a half. Last year I had to go to South Korea to work for a year, my Girlfirend came to visit for 4 months and we spoke for a few hours almost every night whilst I was away, and she was back in England, she was sad a lot of the time, she seemed to forget how to entertain herself and sundenly it was my responsibility to entertain her with every minuet of freetime i got.Now I have been back in England for a month and living in her house and staying with her 247. But now the oppertunity has come up for me to go meet my frinds for a week and she is very upset that I want to go away, even though it just for a week.I also may have to go away for a few weeks later on for a job. I dont want to go away from her, but I do like the option to do things that I want to do, I really dont want to have to spend the rest of my life within arms reach of my girlfriend, with no social life of my own and working a job I hate because I had to turn down oppertunities, because they were not in the same town as us. How can I explain this to my girlfriend so she will be able to keep herself happy when I do my own thing occasionally, and should I stay with her 247 for the rest of my life to make up for having to live away from her for most of last year. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, olivia2010!  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 I can very much relate to your relationship. My last relationship was a lot like that, except I would have been what your girlfriend is doing to you now. Its very unhealthy to be with your partner 24/7, even in marriages, people have their own interests and lives. I was so completely attached to my boyfriend and would have panic attacks if he went away also. However, their are reasons why she may feel this way. She is very insecure and fearful about so many things. Have you talked about it? If their have been reasons why she is scared or afraid, then talk to her about it and get a sense of reassurance on both sides. If you want to be with this girl and you love her that much, there is no other way of telling her that you cant' be with her all the time. You need to be straight up and honest. There is mistrust, unhealthy jealousy, fear and possessiveness going on! It will ruin your relationship apart. Your girlfriend needs to know that and sort her issues out and have a life of her own because in the end, you will both just end up resenting each other in the long run.
All the best
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