A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i had a chance to be with and tell my wife's sister that i am in love with her, but didn't. know i feel depressed and feel i've missed out on opportunity to be with someone that i have fallen in love with and love with all my heart. My wife and i are longer in love with each other we have turned into room mates instead of married lovers, and should be divorced. we are going to marriage counselling but it doesn't seem to be working. there is no chemistry. i feel there is a chemistry between me and her sister. i can't stop nor do i want to stop thinking about her. i wish i could be with her. i love her with all my heart. i know this sounds selfish but i can't help the way i feel about her, and my marriage to her sister has dissolved long before she came into the picture. i guess my question is, are there people out their that have fallen in love with members of their spouses family, and ended up either having an affair with them or a romantice relationship, and/or even getting married to them. i feel confused, and don't want to look back one day and think i should of done something or said something.
View related questions:
affair, depressed, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): I want to marry my wife's sister!! i'm in relationship with her, but i swear i've never loved a girl like that...i've decided to marry her and to convice my wife to remain my wife...i am a man and i know how to love both them. God bless.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): This is a very painful and unfortunate situation with many many things to consider, I know because I have been there and it hurts like hell, there is no solution and no getting around how devastating the facts are, but we all have choices to make. Just try to do the right thing for everyone involved and dont be entirely selfish. The bible says that are hearts are deceitful-- while the world says follow your heart. The contradictions and opinions run rampant, but you will live with yourself and the effects of your actions, so dont take it lightly. If I were you I would put alot of time and thought into any move you decide to make and above this I would pray for guidance and wisdom and for the Love of God to give you peace. I dont judge because life hurts so bad sometime, just dont make it worse. May the Peace and Love of God be with you through your struggles.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): seems to me people dont know what love is if they did these questions and answers wouldent be here
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): I want to divorce my wife and marry her sister too. I know how torn up you feel. My sister in law and I have really fallen for each other but have mostly kept our hands to ourselves. We've tried to keep our feelings for each other bottled up for a few years now but during family events we just make each other glow. My feelings for her are so strong it breaks my heart. Her husband had a clue and moved out of the house right after the family thanksgiving this year. He is such a nice guy and its not about hurting him or my wife but I've felt like this for years now and its killing me. It looks like the sister in law is probably getting a divorce now and I'll probably divorce my wife soon. If my sister in law and I had a public relationship it would just destroy her whole family and I don't want that. Just like the song... I don't want to be in love...It looks like I'm stuck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): thanks to the male reader who responded to go for it...i have been wanting to have an affair with her since january 2007, but kept feeling guilty about it...now i realize that i shouldn't be feeling guilty...after all i'm stuck in a bad reltionship and married to person that i'm not even in love with, nor is she in love with me...next time i have an opportunity (which i hope i still do) i am damm well going to go for it...i am in love with girl, and i know she feels the same about me, hell she is probably thinking why i haven't tried to go after her, and you're right she probably wants me to be with her.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Go for it!!!!!! Don't listen to these women that are responding, they are wh.ores who sleep around behind their men's backs. And they think they can tell you that you are wrong. Go bang the sister, she probably wants it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): Top Idea, marry your wife's sister, I might try and wangle it so I can marry mine too. Trust me, your not alone in the world thinking your wife's sister is the 'one', probably because she reminds you of what your wife used to be.. Let me guess, the sister is younger than your wife. I got told be a police officer recently to be ultimately selfish, you only live once so you might as well enjoy it as much as you can whilst you can still get it up..
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): First of all, let me start by saying that you are
a moron, secondly, anyone that suggests that you get a divorce is a moron. Listen to me and listen carefully, take a moment to reflect and I mean really reflect about
your whole life and your marriage. Do whatever is necessary to make your wife happy, and express to her what
your expectations are, then act upon it. You have urges and feelings that most of us get, the problem is that you are letting these feelings take control of you. Start
thinking about making your marriage work, that way you can prove me wrong about the moron thing, you know! Good luck.
You will be so happy when your marrriage is florishing, and you're still talking to your pretty sister in law. Man, I wish I had me to advise me when I left my wife for my sister in law.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): If you truly loved your wife at one time then you should still love her now. Love is not something that just comes and goes. It something that will last forever. The Bible states that Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Marriage was designed by God to permanent, for a lifetime.
...............................
A
female
reader, melodaea  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 That's despicable. You should be so ashamed of yourself. Not only is that sick, it's fickle and you clearly don't deserve your wife. It sounds to me like you need to grow up a little before you get involved in such an important relationship that is supposed to last for LIFE.
I feel sorry for your wife and her sister.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Ugh. I feel sorry for your wife.
Please do her a favor and divorce her so that she doesn't have to waste any more time with a loser like you.
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 October 2007):
 What kind of a sister would do that. Its just sick. Of all the women in the world you go for one in the same family. I have a feeling that whatever anyone on here says you will go ahead.
All i can say is "what goes around comes around"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Trust me - you'll regret nothing if you keep this to yourself. Let your feelings be known and there will be fireworks. You'll end up with neither of these women. Your marriage will have gone further downhill because of your feelings for your sister-in-law.
If your marriage is truly over, wait until you are divorced before you pursue anyone else. That way there won't be any complications.
Phil
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Hello Anonymous,
You say that marriage counseling is not working, but I have a feeling that it's not working because you do not want it to work. From your post, you seem so "blah" about your wife, but it's like you have put her sister up on a pedestal. How can your wife compete with that?
I see that your actual question is "are there people out there that have falled in love..." Of course there are! And there are also cases where trying to have a relationship with an ex's family member has been absolutely horrible. Everyone's situation is unique, so asking people what their experiences are will probably not help you out too much. It's like you're trying to get acceptance for your "behavior."
If I were you, I would stop going to counseling. You said it's not doing anything, and it doesn't seem as though you want to try to fix the relationship anyhow. Then, I would get a divorce. You're not doing anyone any good by sticking around - you could form a new relationship, and your wife could find someone who loves her just as much as you love her sister. Last, I would wait a while - a loooong while - before getting together with your ex's sister.
Look, this woman who you are married to LOVES you - or at least she did at one point. And you LOVED her enough to marry her. (You're not even that old! How long have you been married?) Have some decency and allow her some time to grieve the relationship that has just ended before you pounce on her sister.
But like I said, the bottom line is that you need to get divorced. You're not trying to make this relationship work and it seems as though you're just stringing your poor wife along. Nobody deserves to be in the situation. End it before it gets worse.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 October 2007):
 You keep posting this and you keep getting the same responses from the aunts. What exactly do you expect to hear? You are not going to get people to tell you to go ahead and bonk your sister in law (she probably isn't interested in the slightest anyway). You need to divorce your wife since you aren't giving the counseling any chance of working.
...............................
|
