A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a lady of 40years has been married over 12years. I like my husband and has three kids with the youngest 3 years.I have really never been in love with my husband though I like him and actually ,he is a caring husband and a father every woman will dream about. I met a man over eight years ago and even though I have not seen him in a while (over 6 years ) I feel really strong for this man. I feel the same way I felt about him the first time I saw him. Once in a while we communicate but I know this man also has very strong feelings about me and would want to marry me. I do not want to cheat on my husband and so I am planning for a divorce when my youngest child is eight years old.I think this man is my soul mate. I feel helpless please advice. This man is driving me crazy.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Don't worry my dear. Everything happens for a reason.
If it is meant to be, it will come to pass only . I wish you all the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am feeling at peace with myself now. Thanks to all those who contributed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think that knowing you have a problem is part of the solution. Thanks my your response but who said I was not treating the men with respect and rindness. I do what I have to do so do not judge me soo fast. An elderly person once told me that it is only when you find your self in a particular situation that you can appreciate it. You can never understand when you have never been there. Think about it. Anyway what I needed was help and not judgment but I think I got some advice from your piece thanks.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): How sad for the men in your lives who are being shafted because instead of treating them with respect and kindness--read: seeking counseling regarding your lack of love for them--and talking to them, you're planning and scheming and emotionally cheating on them. The grass is never greener--but regardless, do them a favor and get a divorce so THEY can move on with their lives and women who appreciate them. I do hope you'll put more into the next relationship.
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A
female
reader, Luv2giveadvice  +, writes (1 April 2011):
Have you spoken to him and told him how you feel?You say you will wait until your youngest is 8.Isnt that another 5 years. If you are going crazy,how will you be able to wait that long?By then he may have met and married someone else!
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A
female
reader, Jo Evelyn  +, writes (31 March 2011):
I am in a similar situation (happily married, without being in love with my husband), only I am in love with another woman. I am not even sure if she's returning my feelings which, believe me, drives me insane! If you are absolutely sure 'the other' man loves you you should give it a go. Which doesn't mean you should act without giving the whole thing a good thought! There will always be someone hurt but life is too short to miss your chance of true love. Plus ... marriage without proper intimacy between the partners is really hard to put up with!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): My mother once told me of a woman who was married for 20 years had children to him and was happy but he wasn't her sold mate. She met him and divorced her husband now her children were grown up and is the happiest she has ever been. If this man is your soul mate can you really just let him pass you by?You would constantly regret it.
As a child from parents who divorced i can safely say i am so much happier knowing my parents split(even if on bad terms at the time as my mum left my dad for another man). They are so much happier. My dad has met his soul mate and my mum went on to find hers even though the one she left my dad for wasn't him. Don't be selfless and think of the children. Whether he is a good father or not children can sense when they're parent are unhappy and tense.
If you're happy someone who truly loved you and your children will understand. I understand it is hard to break down a family unit but you only get one chance to live. You only regret the things you don't do rather than the things you do.
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