A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for about 2 and a half years. We never really fought, but I never felt he was serious or dedicated. I broke up with him once for a lack of dedication (felt like I was putting in 80% while he put in 20%), got together again, then broke up again. I refuse to start a relationship with him again unless he shows he had changed (doubtful) but once again, me being very lonely, I have flirted with him and remained more close than ex's should.But I want to date. In fact I have a first date soon so have avoided my ex a bit and not talked to him as much. But I still feel trapped! He is too close, as in if he knew I had a date he would probably be pretty upset even though he knows we are not in an official relationship.I have known him so long so its so hard to just cut this out, but I dont know what to do. Friend wise, he is great but the fact I have been in a previous relationship with him and get lonely, I am scared I will just keep going back to him for comfort. And if I told him to stop talking to me, I think he would be pretty hurt...Would love some advice!
View related questions:
broke up, flirt, my ex, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 July 2015):
 If "....I am scared I will just keep going back to him for comfort....." means that you and he have sex... then you are really just his available back-up girl, aren't you?
Is that who you want to be?
Good luck...
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (21 July 2015):
 Honestly, are you over thinking this a bit?Has he done anything to try to get you back or just allowed you to come and go into his life as you please?If this guy was really serious about you and wants to be with you, he will want to BE WITH YOU. He won't tolerate just a friendship role you have in his life. If he is not chasing after you and wanting to work with you to go back to being in a relationship with you, then I doubt he wants it.My suggestion is, if you truly want to start dating others and moving on from him, then go ahead. Don't sit there and think up scenarios and over think about how he will react to this and that. Doesn't mean you have to tell him everything, you don't owe it to him to report to him who you go out with. However, be sure that you are going out to meet people because you truly want to and can put in 100%... don't do this because you want to get your ex's attention and fishing for a response from him.Be true to yourself and you will find someone who will be true to you.
...............................
|
