A
male
age
36-40,
*jerick
writes: Me and my ex broke up about 7 months ago, We were frinds at the begining. And we said that we would get back together. (I was the one who iniciated the break up)After about 3 months she found someone else. I was very upset and after an emotional conversation we decided that we should give each other some space. she suggested that i give her a call in a week when she had time to think. I never called.. . I decided i should give it some real time and reflect back on myself and our 3yr relationshipI have since dated other girls, moved to a bigger place, made new friends and changed for the better.Other girls have taken notice of this and I have received compliments from people that know my ex. Telling me that I am the person she always wanted me to be and evidently replaced. Recently though i can not get her out of my head, I love her a lot but I respect her so I dont want to be the reason for her having problems with her new person.I want to call her and get her back really bad, but i can not bring myself to doing so. She still has all my stuff and has never made efforts on returning it and still has all of our pictures from all of our trips on her profile.Should I call her? how can i get her back with out compromising and hurting other people?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 June 2008):
It's her decision. You need to remember that two people are involved, you and her. You may want her back, but it depends on if she wants to come back. I'm sure she knows how much you've changed. Her friends, I bet haven't kept that a secret. She may be confused as well about why you haven't called her. Although you felt to give her more time, did she really want you to give additional time.
When wanting to be with someone, it's not about you, it's about them. You know what you want, so now you need to think about what you have for her to want to be with you. People, quite often bash trying to make up. What they miss, as in sales, is getting the other person to see the benefit you can provide to them. Without thinking of your desire. What do you have which would benefit her? When you talk to her, think about it from her side. It's about making her feel as if the benefit you have to offer is too good to refuse.
I hope all works out for you. Take care.
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