A
male
age
26-29,
*ackalus
writes:Hey guys I really need advice on how to break up with my girlfriend, I'm going to try and ease her down but I need help on exactly what to do. I need tips on everythingWhere What to sayShould I tell her and leaveShould I tell her and walk her homeSchool or notWeekend or weekAnd everything all advice is welcome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 i too vote for walking home after school on a friday
AND not spreading it around with the friends...
keep it quiet... calm
read what Dmartin89 said over and over... it's PERFECT!
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (6 June 2011):
 There is no EASY way to break up with someone.
When I was your age, my boyfriend of two weeks (a guy I had been pining over for 4 years) broke up with me by telling his friend to tell me that I was "dumped".
I was told in the middle of a school day, infront of all my friends. It was humiliating, and I have never respected/cared for him or any of his friends since.
You need to tell her gently that you dont have any romantic feelings for her, although you care for her and appreciate her for who she is and that she is an amazing friend. You need to explain WHY you are doing this, or she will be thinking the worst; shes ugly, boring and you like one of her friends more.
Tell her at the end of the day, friday, so she has the weekend to mope and be sad. There is nothing fun about having to put on a brave face for school.
Do you usually walk her home? If so then do that, and tell her before she goes in.
I commend you for going about it the right way. Although she is going to feel like shit no matter what way you do it, its better to get it over with then have her live in a lie. You are not a bad person for breaking up for her, if there are no feelings then there is nothing that can be done about it.
I would also like to add; she will be very tender and vulnerable in the weeks following the break-up. Let her get over it, dont try to ease your concious by going and continually saying you are sorry. And dont get a new girlfriend for at least a couple months, it will make her feel replaceable and unimportant. Be kind from a distance, dont tell all your friends, respect her privacy, dont gossip.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Roll reversal first. remember one thing! If you really feel strongly for someone and they "dump" you it's exactly like having your internal iorgans pulled out through your belly button. I remember like it was yesterday. Proceed with gentle kindness at the very least.
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A
female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Ok, if it were me I would want it done as your walking me home by myself on a friday.....this way we have privacy and I have the whole weekend to get my strength up.
Also, don't go telling anyone, the more you let her tell it the better off you are. It would really suck if you had a million people running up to you saying : I'm soo sorry, and Are you ok? Letting her tell who she wants when she wants at first should make things much easier.
Then maybe give her a call on Sunday before school, ask how she's doing and tell her you want no hard feelings between the two of you .....because of your concern of even asking how to do this nicely I'm assuming thats how you feel. Tell her she's pretty, or smart, whatever it was that you enjoyed in the first place, but the two of you are just not clicking like you thought you would.
That would be how I would want to get broken up with... Good Luck,
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A
female
reader, Mickkiee +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Not an easy thing to do my friend but more respect to you for actually seeking advice to try and ease the hurt. The easiest way for you to break up is to MOST CERTINALLY say it to her face, she'll respect you more for it. Believe me girls talk about how boys split up with and the easier you can do it the easier life will be all round. Please take my advice and DONT do it via text or E-mail even though this is an easier option it will cause more hurt even though you would think that when breaking up it would be easier for her to hang up the phone than have to look at you when she will want to cry. But honestly it will earn you more respect. Don't do it at school either as she'll be upset and you will look like the bad guy. She may want to ask you why or whats happened to make you think like this be as honest and as gentle as you can, try to be positive and tell her that although you really enjoyed your relationship that you feel that it has bloosomed and you think that a friendship relationship would be better. I know its not an easy thing to do but honestly the nicer you can be the better it will be all round. Good luck Mickkiee
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (6 June 2011):
 ok, put yourself in her shoes... if someone where to break up with YOU how would you like them to do it, in a way that would be kinder to you? think about it, and then you do the same for her.
'treat others as you yourself would want to be treated'
i would DEFINITELY say though, don't do it at school! if she is very upset you don't want her to cause a big scene at school or spend the day crying all over her books. you will look like the BAD GUY if you dump her at school. She will probably want to be with her mum straight after you break the news to her.
i hope it goes well, i must say it is really nice that you have come here to look for advice on how to do this, it shows you are a caring person
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Don't break up with her publicly, over the phone, by text or by email. Do it in person, privately. You should tell her the truth about why you're breaking up. If you can't tell her the truth, tell her that your feelings for her have changed, and you don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore. At least that, in general, covers most reasons why people break up.
Again, don't tell her publicly or in a public place, like school. Don't tell her before she has a big test, recital or other important plans.
Basically, just tell her and don't drag it out. Don't make promises you know you won't or can't keep.
Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): let her down easy DONT do it during school , because then she'll have to go to class and spend the rest of her day wanting to crydo it on a weekend, friday or saturday night , so that way she doesnt have to go to school sad the next day. meet up with her somewhere where it is just you and her. or even on like a friday AFTER school , when school is over, while your walking home or something . stop , hug her , tell her shes beautiful and then give her the reason why your breaking up with her . tell her everything about how youy feel , EVERYTHING . she'll appreciate that much more .. then if she has anything to say , talk to her , she might cry , but handle it , let her cry , tell her you dont feel like you two are right for each other. then offer to walk her come, she might say yes, she might say no. respect her decision . say goodbye "her name"
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A
female
reader, MadAboutHim123 +, writes (6 June 2011):
Well, why are you breaking up with her? Do you just not want the relationship anymore? Did you lose interest? Did you do something? Did she do something? What happened?
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A
male
reader, Capn Crunch +, writes (5 June 2011):
The easiest way to break up with a woman is to tell it to her face to face. About the whole location thing that really doesn't matter. Just make sure you don't do it with a text message or a phone call. The best of luck to you and your future girl.
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