A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Some advice please from you aunts,I have been in a relationship for many yrs with someone. but i feel it's going nowhere and i want to end it. so i told this other person today and his response to me was I don't believe you can get by without me.has this guy got a big ego or what or is he just being a smartarse??i was kinda shocked by his comment to me.He said i'll talk to you when you settle down but there is no way you can get by without me i know. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): He doesn't sound that fun to be with from this example. Are you sure you can get by with him? Do what you want, but make sure it isn't out of fear or pressure from him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): decisions like this are not taken due to your ego to prove him wrong or right.
BTW you are at 60 year age. I am not sure why you could not have stable partner yet, but any ways, in my view t his is not the right time for the same.
adjust and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Please!! prove that asshat wrong.
Find yourself some happiness!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I don't think we have enough information to base a judgement of his entire character on this one inane statement made in the moment that he was getting dumped by you. We don't know what allwas said oneither side or what are the reasons you think it is going nowhere.
It sounds like a guy who is in Denial which is the first stage of grief over the shock of losing someone. It could very well be he doesn't want the breakup and didn't see it coming and that is his way of coping with the shock not that he is arrogant or controlling. You know him better than we do!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 You got by this long without him didn't you?? Do you need him to feed you, wash your clothes, buy you stuff, help you get out of bed?
There is a way to get by someone... "excuse me please, I would like to get by you...thanks."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Totally agree with the two other replies - Controlling, manipulative and very unfeeling, especially as you say you've been in this relationship for sometime.
Does slightly interest me how long you've been in this relationship though, and WHY you ended up so long with a man who obviously likes to adopt a dominant/controlling role.
Of course HIS reply is despicable and unfeeling, and YES I hope you make the move from being in an unhappy relationship to a life where you make GOOD choices for yourself. BUT..I feel HE may have always been like this, and for some unknown reason you were attracted to him initially. FEW of us change so drastically from the person we are when we meet someone - a good measure is - If you meet someone, and whatever their traits are, i.e selfish, arrogant or generous and giving...these only MULTIPLY, meaning you get more of whatever TRAIT is is AFTER the honeymoon period ends, keep this in mind.
I hope you do make a fresh start, and if you do, try not to go from one relationship to another, which can happen, give yourself time to know what you want, and don't compromise on your happiness, life is short!
Really wish you good luck!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): It sounds more like he can't get by without you and is clinging as hard as he can by trying to scare you. Go with your instincts - if you feel it's not going anywhere then stay strong and end it, no matter what he says.
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