A
female
age
51-59,
*ampaguita
writes:Dear cupid...I am a married woman had a affair w/amarried man for 10 months...I have a daughter and he has a daughter and wife just had their 2nd child this wk...I broke up w/him 5times and ended up getting back together.I love him very much and so as he. We became emotionally attached to each other. For the past months it gotten worsed where we both jealous of each other where we can't even talk about what we both do or did on the wkends with our spouses...this week I was so hurt that's when I finally broke up w/him...their 2nd child was born this wk...I am having a hard time and want 2 call him please help me cope with it....I want to be free from him for good....please help!
View related questions:
affair, broke up, jealous, married woman Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Any relationship you have with someone who is married to someone else won't ever end happily.
He doesn't love you, he is still having kids and making a family with his wife. He may say he loves you so he can have sex with you, but if he loved you, he would have left his wife by now.
Men arn't emotional unless they are hurting over something that really means a lot to them. If he isn't calling you or is arguing with you it's probably because he wants you to go away for now.
His wife just had a baby, he is playing 'daddy' maybe he is having second thoughts about you and has decided he has no further use for you. There isn't anything you can do.
He may return to you in the future, turning his back on his wife and his new little baby (who is a total innocent)
just so he can have sex with you again, but for now he just doesn't want you.
You my dear seem to be a very selfish woman and it's all about you.
You need to back off and focus on your own marriage and child and forget about your 'boyfriend'.
If you truly want to be free of him, you will cut all contact, leave him alone and never speak to him again and turn your attention to your own family. Hard to do, but it's the only way to get over someone and move on.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Hi, When you started this affair, you knew he was married. If after 10 mos, he didn't leave his wife, we both know he won't, specially now that he has a new born, that means he's still very much into the marriage, and still having sex with his wife. I understand that you are emotionally attached to him, but understand that this affair don't have a future. I am not sure what his intensions are, but this won't go any further than just being an affair. So, it's up to you to continue, knowing and accepting the fact that this will not last nor have a future. Since you knew he was married, you don't have a right to be jealous of his wife, or demand anything from him. You knew the truth from beginning. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): Just hang in there and continue to resist the urge to call him, and if he calls you need to just ignore him. If you consistently ignore him then at some point he will leave you alone if he finds it's not working to get your attention anymore. But the problem is that you need to stay resolved and not go running back to him the minute he shows attention. Keep your mind focused on your bigger goal, which is to end this affair so your life can be more peaceful and not in turmoil. As long as you're having this affair you'll never have inner peace. With time you'll feel better eventually as long as you stick with this course of cutting off contact. If you have moments of weaknesses though, then each time you give in and resume contact you're re-setting the clock for getting over this relationship.
...............................
|
