A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have a colleague at work who at the moment is putting people's noses out of joint. She is taking the initiative which is good to see, but lately she has been undermining two managing staff, myself and another.She does not refer to us, and sends out emails to everyone, without passing everything through us first. At first i was glad she was taking those steps but now it has come to light, from gossip in the toilets no less, that this girl, who has only been in the job 6 months is after a more managerial role.I know it is bound to be true because the same gossip spread about me when i became a manager. It hurt but i got on with it and the girls beneath me are still friends of mine despite me being a manager.But now i know about it i can see what has been happening lately and that is she has managed to sit in the pocket of the managing director. The managing director listens to her and gives her what she asks for at the expense of others who have been there longest. She reports everything to the director instead of me and the other manager and we are always the last to know what has been decided.We don't want to be against this girl but i have noticed too how she has been undermining me. She makes it seem as if she is joking but behind the smiles and the banter i have noticed she actually means what she says to me. And also a few days when i was off, she accused me to the other manager of working underhandedly. I've never worked underhandedly in my life and people i work with have remarked how they like my attitude of always asking what they think before any decision is made.The manager i work alongside is more bothered about the situation than I because she has only been with the company 2 months but she came with more experience than the other women that work for us, so we speculate that maybe this girls nose has been put out of joint, but until she gains the qualifications she needs she cannot be given any other responsibility. So what can we do. I have low self esteem as it is and her undermining me, makes my problems seem ten times worse.I am a good worker and have been doing the job for much longer than the girl or the manager who works alongside me. So how can I stop feeling as though i am being petty about this girl? What methods can i use to stop the teasing and the banter from her when i know she means it?Hope someone can offer me some advice.I must stress also that before the other manager came along, me and the girl got on really well. So whom is she trying to push out, me or my work colleague? We asked her a few days ago to help out and she said no. When i went to the managing director, and she mentioned that the girl could help, i just said that the girl had said she couldn't but lo and behold about an hour later, the director had had a word and she agreed to help. So i know it is not my imagination.Sorry i've rambled.Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): The only advice I can give is to document everything. She may be after your job or the other manager's position, it's hard to read everyone's motive here. There is one thing that you pointed out that your co-worker is definitely picking up on is your low self esteem. You have to try to be more confident in your job capacity or she will do what you fear the most, which is take over. Continue to do your job to the best of your ability and any wrong doing on her part, document it and present it to the director. Best of luck to you.
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