| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am a young woman, does get hit on when I'm out and I've been called "hot" etc but I just feel hideous compared to everyone else. It just seems like guys only want one thing and aren't interested in getting to know me. I wonder if this has anything to do with me feeling incompetent. I've only ever slept with one guy and the one time I get that intimate with someone, he doesn't want anything else. He has a girlfriend now but still wants to have sex with me. I haven't taken him up on his offer.I'm a pretty quiet person so maybe that makes it harder for people to get to know me. I'm not easy and I don't dress in a way that shows off my body or anything. He calls me "stunning" yet he doesn't want anything else from me. He's with some blonde girl. I've got red hair and green eyes. I don't tan. I just want to be something more then sex to someone. Maybe i am just ugly.Do I just accept that's all I'll ever be?
View related questions:
has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (1 June 2011):
Preliminary rambling: You'll be interested to know that for some reason redheads have been unfairly tarred in England because both Judas Iscariot and Shylock from 'The Merchant of Venice' were traditionally portrayed with red hair and beards. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with being a redhead- the pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood in the 1800s were mad about painting pale-skinned redhaired models. Simply because you don't fit the current tacky footballer's wife ideal doesn't mean you're unattractive. You seem intelligent, and a bit shy- please imagine yourself as slowly ripening cognac instead of immediately drinkable (and disposably forgettable) Coca-Cola. Forget about this guy- you deserve a man all to yourself- get on with life and sort out the offers carefully, because I promise they'll be made.
A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (1 June 2011):
You are not ugly. Even if you were, have u ever met someone who has not been loved even once the whole of her life because she was ugly? I think you should give man a chance to love you, do not have sex with a guy before he has fallen for you. About that guy who has a girlfrend-don't sleep with him because you will always be the other one, he will contact you only when he wants sex. You deserve to be loved and you will be loved, give it time and keep your legs clossed
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): I wouldn't take up the 'offer' from your ex with a girlfriend. He is just being a plank and hopes that by calling you stunning, you will be so flattered that you will fall into bed with him! Just because he is a plank it doesn't mean that all men are like that because they aren't. If most social setting where you meet guys are either pubs or clubs then you will see the 'cheekier' side of some because of alcohol. Maybe try and avoid those settings if you are feeling very upset by the attention you are receiving. But it has to be said it is quite normal for SOME guys to behave that way. It doesn't mean that is how you should view yourself though!
It might help to have some counselling to support you and help you to move on from your ex boyfriend and overcome any issues you have with your self esteem.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Aww, sweetie. You've had a bad experience with a guy who sounds horrible. To do that to you - and then to ask you to cheat with him on his girlfriend - is very hurtful. I'm not surprised that you feel bad, but I do think that you need to remember that this is his bad and not yours. You haven't done anything wrong here - he has. Just because he doesn't know how to love or respect a woman does not mean that you do not deserve respect or love.I am absolutely sure that you are not hideous and that you will meet the right person in time. And I definitely do not think that you should settle for anything less than the love, romance, and care that you want and deserve. The right person is out there for you - it's just sometimes it takes a while to find him. You say that you are really quite shy and I wonder if this is part of your problem. Guys can easily mistake reserve for indifference - especially when they are young (they can be a bit clueless like that!!). I know it's difficult, but you might want to take a slightly more proactive stance towards your own happiness here. I definitely don't think you should change who you are, dress differently, or act differently - but rather, think about the kind of guy you might want to meet, and where you might encounter them. For instance, think about your own interests, and work out where you might meet someone who shares them (a club, a society, classes for example). Find one in your local area, and give it a whirl! Even if you don't meet Mr Right, chances are you'll have fun doing something you enjoy! :)
...............................
|
