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I want to be friends with her but I'm really jealous!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2011)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So, I have this friend, and basically I'm really jealous of her. She's drop dead gorgeous. She's a model, and it seems like she gets everything she wants. On top of that, she's probably the sweetest, funniest, most caring person anyone has ever met.

Every single boyfriend she has lasts longer that 6 months, and all the guys she dates are attractive, and she has them wrapped around her finger. People always talk about how pretty great she is, and she has a line-up of guys waiting to date her.

The problem? THIS PISSES ME OFF. Its not fair, I don't understand why she gets the perfect boyfriends, the looks, the happy life, everything. I want to be her friend because she's fun to be around, but I can't stop feeling anger and meanness towards her. Whenever I'm around her, this bugs me. I don't want to stop being her friend, but I really need help with getting angry and I need help to stop being jealous of her. Please, any suggestions?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011):

I apologise in advance for the length of this answer, but I know exactly how you feel. I have a friend just like this who is beautiful, talented, funny and completely sweet and nice; but every guy who seems to meet her is just drawn to her like a magnet. The guy I want is mad about her, but she is one of my best friends. But by staying friends with this girl, and controlling my jealously, it actually makes me the bigger and better person. I'm not saying I don't get jealous, because I do. I see the guy I want flirt with her, and it makes me SO angry. It's human nature to be jealous and angry, and you can't stop it, but you can control it. I'm still struggling myself, but it's gradual. Every time she pisses you off, think of a fault she has, and then think of a good attribute you have. You may think she has none, but the longer you stay her friend, the more will surface. Also, the more you learn to control your emotions, the stronger you get as a person. In short, you can use her to YOUR advantage.

For instance, you hang around with her, her boyfriend also does. Her boyfriend's friends' may also, so use can use it as a dating oppertunity, ECT...

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A female reader, caringgirl United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2011):

you shouldnt ever feel this way . you should learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, and remember you have your own unique traits and qualities that are special about you. focus on positive things about yourself, and stop comparing yourself to others. As we grow older , we realise there is always going to be some one younger than us, prettier than us, slimmer than us, you know you cant compete with every other woman in this world. Thats just life isnt it.

I am sure you may posses a talent,or you maybe good at something that someone else maybe not as good as. There is no point in being jealous or envious , dont build your strength on your weakness but build your strength on your strength.

Just learn to appreciate yourself, dont compare yourself to this girl or anyone else. Just because someone seems all perfect to you, doesn't mean they necessarily live a happy life. you may not know what goes in their lives , behind closed door. Everyone has got their story to tell.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011):

Why be jealous when you can have what what she has.You'll find the right guy one day.And you can always ask her boyfriends if they have friends they more than likely do.So don't be jealous hun its a waste of time and your just hurting your self.But it'll be okay

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