A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I dont really know why I'm here, I guess I can't really talk to anybody about this as I don't think they'll understand and I'd be judged, or it would get out and I couldn't stand that.I think I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend, we were together for just over two years and we were each other's first everything, we grew together and it was far from perfect, we argued a lot but it just felt right, it was exciting and passionate and we both knew we loved each other deeply. However, we were both quite young, and life happened, we both went to different uni's and kept it going for a while, it ended suddenly with him deciding he didn't want the relationship anymore and refusing to talk to me for months in order to 'get over me' This lead me to enter a serious bout of depression, something I've suffered with throughout my life, I can honestly say I have never felt so low. My life felt pointless and I felt I couldn't cope. After returning to uni, things got better, I made new friends and began to really live my life, I felt no need to contact my ex, and I found a new boyfriend, a lovely guy who treated me well and was nice to me and I enjoyed the attention. We've been together for just over a year now, and obviously the 'honeymoon phase' is over, we still love each other but I find myself thinking about my ex a lot, he has attempted to get in contact with me a few times and I've stopped myself from responding, fearing that old feelings would come back. Recently I was feeling low and responded, we had a short conversation where he apologised for treating me badly and said he was a different person now, I acted as though I wasn't bothered, when really my heart was pounding. Now I can't stop thinking about him, I check his facebook page all the time and obsess over if he is going to talk to me or not. I can see from his facebook that he is probably starting a new relationship, and this still hurts me, I don't know why, I'm really worried I'm still in love with him, its been well over two years since we split up and I don't know how to get over him, I want to be able to be friends with him without wanting more, I want my current relationship to work, I need advice as I'm beginning to feel really low again.How can I get over my ex when I'm still in love with him?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 Best way to get over him it to let him stay in the past. That means STOP being in contact.
Being friends with him or trying to be friends is not beneficial for you right now, nor for your current relationship.
Stop haunting his facebook, stop trying to check up on his life. FOCUS on your own.
You are not being fair to your current BF with all this ex drama/emotions.
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (13 April 2012):
The most important thing is NO CONTACT. And stop checking out his facebook page. Can't put it more simple than that. The rest will follow. Don't open up old wounds. And be open about what happened with the current bf, don't hide it, the secretiveness will hinder your current relationship.
If the guy ever contacts you again, you need to politely tell him you have moved on and don't wish to talk to him anymore. This is not a situation where just being friends works at all.
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