A
female
age
36-40,
*razydee19
writes:I really like this guy I work with and I really wanna ask him for his number but I'm so shy and nervous to do it. Does anyone know any good ways that I can ask him for it and what I should say? Thanks
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 April 2010):
 Terri you are funny, but there is more to say here. Work and relationships just don't go together well. the whole situation is a minefield. What Dee is trying to do is to separate the two worlds. She doesn't want a scene at work. And, should he reject her advance, she will have to continue to see and work with him every day. And the one other factor that you implied, she is not a forward girl and is too shy to ask for his attention. So, what to do?
First try to get it away from work. Do you know what clubs, or hobbies he has outside of work? does he ever offer open invitations to events away from work. Get interested in everything he does. When he sees your genuine interest he will offer an invitation. If you know he is going to be somewhere, be there.
Second start small, If Dee were a guy I would advise him to ask her to coffee after work before asking for her number. It is a short non committal date that is public and safe. You always can fall back and talk about work. It also gives each an easy out. You can easily say I'm too busy / tired to do that. If you don't try for a reschedule that means you aren't interested. In Dee's case she should arrange to be at one of his events without relying on him to be her ride and/or partner. Start friendly, then see if you both want to move forward.
It used to be solely the guys responsibility to initiate contact and ask for dates. Guys are too liberated now. They don't feel the pressure to "make the first move". In fact they seem to run from commitment. This is going to make Dee's job harder as she need to coax him into inviting her out.
The real trick as i said in the beginning is to convince him that you share an interest with him. Then you will have a reason for contact away from work. When that reason exists it will be easy to say, " let me give you my number so you can contact me for . . . . ". See how it is much easier to offer your number than to ask for his? But, you need more than your interest in him, as a reason to offer it. Otherwise you could come off looking desperate.
FA
A
female
reader, terrifenby  +, writes (16 April 2010):
 There is this one way i know thats great. You want this guys number yeah? ....Well then walk up to him and ask him for it. 5 words not that hard when you think about it.... "CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER" Try it, its not going to kill you! Good luck
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