A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am struggling after a break up. We only dated for a few months but he was still arguing with his ex about their children that I felt pushed out and like the third wheel. It was an intense and passionate time but I used to get angry that his past issues were not resolved. I collected my things and was horrible to him. I dont want to get back with him but would like to apologise in person. I have text him twice and he ignored me both times.
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female
reader, Mina_Bhamji +, writes (5 November 2015):
 It seems like you're looking for closure. Closure is important as it gives you peace within your mind and peace within yourself. It seems like he's still not over the situation which is why he's ignoring you, give it a bit of time, as it is always been told, time heals everything. Text him in the next couple weeks time if that'll help, but emphasise that you want closure rather than you're sorry. You've already said you're sorry, no need to constantly repeat yourself. Also maybe throw an invite to a friendly coffee, just a way as a peace offering. Just emphasise how important you feel it is that you're able to end things on a neutral note, doesn't have to be good nor bad, but neutral. He might end up replying or wanting the same thing if you take that approach.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 November 2015):
 If it makes YOU feel better and if you NEED to get something of your chest... write him a letter to apologize. You don't NEED to do it in person. After that, let it go.
And learn from this. Actions have consequences. Your actions "saying horrible things to a guy after a bad break up" lead to "him wanting nothing to do with you" and you feeling bad about it. No one is perfect, and no one acts perfectly 100% of the time. So it's OK to stop beating yourself up over it.
Overall I think breaking up with him was the right thing to do. The guy shouldn't be dating when he has SO much unfinished business with the ex.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 November 2015):
Everyone wants the kind of breakup where sorry is said for all the wrongs, everything is discussed and neatly confined to the past and you wish each other every happiness and go your separate ways. Great but it often doesn’t happen like that. You didn’t work, it only lasted a couple of months and you sent texts as the start of a peace offering. For him this is obviously enough and he wants to move on, so the right thing to do now is leave him be. So it ended messily and on bad terms but I’m afraid that’s just life. Understand that you’ve done all you can and that by backing off you are acting in his best interests and try not to give yourself too hard a time.
I wish you all the very best.
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