A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. I alaways find girls i like and that like me. This time i found one i auctally see myself obsessing about her. I have extreame feelings for her more than any person i have ever met. These feelings i didnt even know quite what was untill i told a friend and he said "you have a crush on her" i know she feels the same way as me. Now for the problem i met her online she lives in a state accross the country. im 18 shes 16. Pleease dont judge me based on age the way i feel is 3 yesrs younger or older is ok. She has a bad life (she was beat as a child and now has sever depression. and she feels im the only one who listens and treats her with respect. Long distance relationships are not good but i cant really move down there or afford a road trip for that matter, and she cant come up as she still lives with her parents. i want this relationship to really work out so badly, im just stuck in this position where i dont know what to do. What should i do?
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crush, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI talk to her on webcam almost 24/7 and we text constant and we play on xbox auctally i know so much about her life its kinda scary. i know who she talks too online too.
A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Aww sweety! This happens a lot, but don't you think that maybe you are attracted to the thought of rescuing her and idealizing her. Long distance is EXTREMELY difficult even if you have the time and resources to see each other, and you don't have the way to see see her so you can understand how this "relationship" can only be strictly platonic. Also, you cannot know if in person things would work out, so be patient you are still young and you can still get to know each other... Also, I see you are 18, have you considered going to college maybe a little bit closer to her? Ask her what she thinks or what she feels before making any decisions.
:) good luck!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Let me say LDRs are hard work and they're not for everyone. They require communication, trust, and some necessary travel to see one another. Is it possible for you both to save $ to take a road trip eventually? Another issue is you have never met this girl, so you don't know that she's who she says she is.
A big red flag, this girl has emotional baggage. So she will need you a lot more than you need her. But how much can you really be there for her when it's over the internet? So I question whether she can handle a LDR. You already don't want a LDR so this relationship doesn't have too much going for it. I say keep it as friends for now, but one day when the time is right then you can meet up with her and make things happen.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 You could be attracted to the thought of her. I'm not sure if youve met her in person, but she is very needy and the caring side of you will come out and maybe that is why you feel so strongly about her. If she was in your life 24/7 this kind of personality could get you down if it doesnt match your own. We always have to be careful when we take peoples issues on because if we arent responsible enough we can do more damage and take the person down even further in their life. You also may not be the only one she is talking to on line and telling her problems to. I don't mean to put a damper on it but wouldnt like you to be wasting a lot of your emotions on a fantasy.
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