A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I want this woman that i have been good friends with for over two years now, I want her to fall in love with me and have sex with me on a regular basis, but the problem is that she is married and has a daughter and has been married to the same guy for 15 years now. We have had sex together and i have fallen in love with her and she knows this but she says that she loves me in a way as a special friend, and that what we used to do we can't do it any more for right now. I tell her that i would do anything for her and never hurt her in any way and always be there for her, and she says she knows that. But she wants me to not think negative all the time and understand her cirumstances. I miss that feeling i had with her when we played around she helped me out because i hadn't had sex in 7 years she sayed we could always be friends with benefits, but the benefits have stopped. Its been over a year now, and all i want to do is make love to her again,,,, can you give me some advice on how to show her that i want to make love to her? I don't want know one but her and i keep telling her this. She says that she feels bad when i say to her to tell me that i'm her's she says it's not fair to say that ,,,, I need some advice.
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friend with benefits, married woman Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): You need to realize she used you for sex. Now, she doesn't need you.
She is a selfish woman. She cheated on her husband. The man she swore before God to always be faithful too. What makes you think if she ended up with you she wouldn't cheat on you?
I'd leave her, and tell her husband what she did. It's not fair to him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): She is married to someone else and has tried to tell you that she is now staying faithful, so you need to listen and cut off from her and have confidence that you will find someone unattached in the future.
It isn't fair to risk hurting this woman's husband and husband just because you feel a strong attraction. Try to cut off completely otherwise you will always hanker for her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 June 2010):
You've been used. That's all there is to it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): Bottom line: you need to cut this, cold turkey. This woman does not love you or care about you in the same way you care for her. It is cruel and selfish of her to continue to allow you to be around her knowing your distress. This is a person who is most likely a bit of a control freak and is going to only damage you. You are ruining your chance of meeting a good person while this woman has you under her thumb. Let it go, move on, and collect yourself, for heavens sake. You are far too old to be playing this childish game.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): She is married to another man. I really dont think this can go anywhere to tell you the truth. I know that is not what you want to hear but she is obviously feeling guilty about what is going on and has decided to stop your friends with benefits thing that you have going on.
I know you are in love with her but there are plenty of unmarried women out there who i am sure would be just a good a match for you as this woman is.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 June 2010):
Have you thought about how this affects her husband and daughter? Has she? 6 billion people to go have sex with (and I haven't heard anything in your post about love, just sex), and you choose a married woman?
I know, you'd say "We can't control who we have feelings for", and I would wholeheartedly agree with you. However, we control what we do with these feelings, and in marriages that last a long time, there WILL come temptation. Good marriages that stand the test of time are those in which temptation isn't allowed to be indulged.
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