A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My current status is that I am in a relationship. I have been for over 2 years, to a great guy we'll call Erik.To spare all the gory details, Erik is very friendly, intelligent, my mom likes him, and he LOVES me...But I feel as though our spark is gone. I want to so bad however and am trying to take steps to regain said spark in myself.Meanwhile, my lesbian side has been rearing it's head (I'm VERY much a bisexual) and every night I have dreams about girls, and during my waking hours all I can think about is how badly I wish I was in a female-female relationship.I absolutely love my love of girls, but at a time when I'm trying to focus on falling back in love with my guy, it isn't really doing me much good.In fact the reason why I finally broke down and came here to ask for help is because I just found myself browsing through a online-lesbian-dating-site. THIS IS BAD! I will not let myself cheat on my boyfriend, so here I am asking: how can I stop myself from doing this?What are effective ways of falling back in love with your guy? And how do I stop my wandering eyes?That last part rhymed -_- Good grief.Thanks in advance!
View related questions:
lesbian, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, yourhandholdingmine  +, writes (9 June 2009):
 ask yourself this if you can you go on without him.Don't try to suppress your feelings. if your answer is YES, leave him, go and find a girl of your dream. if your answer is NO, think about it again.... if you cant feel happiness around him, he cant be happy too. and the hardest thing is you cant fake happiness. but if he's dumb enough to think you ARE happy with him, then you've successfully lied to him. then go on and think about girls while you're with him... let your imagination go wild and crazy and fun but hey, cheating emotionally is much much worse than cheating physically! don't waste his time and yours. he might be a good friend. keep his friendship if u canjust be with me! :pgood luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Love is a complex thing, but one thing i know for sure is that u cant work on something that isn't there. You need to ask yourself do you still love him (in the boyfriend way not as a friend) if the answer is yes then try spending extra time with him, do more things together. If your answer of loving him is No then you should end it, you can't work on something that isn't there for you. I know your mind is not my mind, but in my mind (confusing) it seems to me that you dont love him. You said yourself you TRYING to fall BACK in love with him, and your already browsing lesbian sites.
The longer you leave it the harder it will become, and you could find yourself becoming stuck in a relationship you dont want. A while ago now, i spilt with my boyfriend because my mind and love for girls was overpowering my love for him, we hadn't been together aslong as you and Erik. Only a year for us, but i found myself getting stuck in routine, so in the end i had to tell him. It was hard because he didn't even know i was BI, but he is such a great guy and were still really good friends.
So really my answer to you is ask yourself; Do you love him?
Hope that helps!
...............................
|
