A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and our sex life was great the first year and the second year it has been pretty rough. Lately, I’ve been hinting at my bf to do some things differently in the bedroom but it seems he still isn’t as adventurous as I’d like him to be. No sure how to bring up new things up without making it seem like he’s not doing enough and hurting our relationship in the long run. How do I gently nudge him in the right direction?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2019): Men need direct contact, as in say what you mean. You are just hinting to us also, and I do not have a clue about what you want. If you want romance tell him. If you need more foreplay or want oral, then say so. There is nothing that you cannot talk to your lover about, regarding sex! If you are mature enough to get naked and go to bed with him, I am sure that he is mature enough to listen! Be direct, but be kind and respectful. Just because you want to try new things with him, in no way means that you do not like what he does already. It only means you want to have some variety, with him! Just say what you mean, but mean what you say too. Best wishes for a happy future!
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 July 2019):
 My very serious advice to you is to COMMUNICATE. Not hint. Not nudge. What you are doing is as likely to harm a long term relationship as open honest communication of your sexual interests.
The best time to talk about sex is not when you or he is frustrated. Better for a post sex pillow talk.
I'm advising a best practices approach to resolving a problem. But, the answer might still be no.
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