A
female
age
41-50,
*adybug 1
writes:Well I really dont know where to start. My boyfriend of four year's, is not the man I thought he was. we have known each other for 5ys. as friend. and then one day he wanted to be more then friends. deep down i did to. so we crossed that line of friendship. when we first seeing each other, as lovers, he was very charming, and handsome, and effectit with me, he was all for it. then after a year, I started seeing a differnt side of him, like his temper, and he started acting like He had me, and that he could treat me any way he wanted to. he started to act, like he wanted to be single,but yet wanted me around, so one will take me from him. at times his ugly personaly would come out, mostly when he had to much to drink, he had told me he love me after 6 months into our relationship. and after that he has not said it to me anymore, and then I asked him, If he really loved me. and he said no. and said he liked me alot. and said that I liked him alot. He has been burned bad by women, and I see that he wont let him self love me, or he really isnt in love with me. and he really wants his freedom, but wont ask me to leave. because he knows I gave up every thing I own to move to fla, to make a life for us. and now I have no where to go, no family, no friend, and he knows this. and no job, because I stay home and be the homemaker, like he want me to be. there is now no more passion, in our relationship, no sex, because I am the one that has a question out there about why do I smell fishy, and my boyfriend treats me like I got the pleag, He has a dr jeckle and mr hide side of him. and he say's such hurtfull things to me to hurt my pride. to show me that he is the leader,not me, I feel truly he has no respect for woman, he just pretends to. How do I get back on my feet, I have no money, no job, no car. Im traped.
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female
reader, ladybug 1 +, writes (27 May 2012):
ladybug 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much to all that have responded on my question, very good advice, and I will try very hard to keep all the remarks in my thoughts, and use them to my abilitiy, So sorry for my bad spelling.
It really means a lot to me, that caring people that I dont know, really care for me as being a human beeing in destress. and I can really share my feelings,with out being judged. or talked about behind my back. I feel such a big relef in my heart, that I have found such devoted people to this web site to help anyone in need of advice. I hope I get more advice on my situation, I feel that I so screwd. and That Im way over my head,and cant see a way out yet. Thank you kindly. Ladybug1
A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (26 May 2012):
 Four years you have out up with this?
Get out, speak to a close friend, family but leave he is a toxic man destroying himself by the sounds of it and you in the process.
You have been brilliant before you will be brilliant again but not with him.
It is better to be alone with nothing, than with someone who makes you miserable - don't wait another four years
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): If you have family or friends back home, you may want to get in touch with them, work on rebuilding relationships, and make arraingements to leave florida.The options you have available to you often vary from county to county in florida. As far as transportation is concerned (to search for a job and get to work) the more populated counties usually have a public transit system. You can look up the bus schedules and fares by searching for public transit for your county in florida.If you have a goodwill job center in your area, they may be able to help you find employment.If you identify with, or were raised to follow a certain religion, you may want to begin attending services at a house of worship. They usually have resources to help members of the community get on their feet.Finally, research what options are available to you if he becomes abusive. Many florida counties have programs for women who have been abused and the services they offer range from job search assistance, transportation, medical services, and sometimes they can provide a bed to sleep in.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Time to find a job, save up and get the heck out of Dodge.
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A
male
reader, mwarren +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Do not stay with this man. Start planning an exit strategy.Look for a job, anything put some money away and look for a place you want to move. When the time is right tell him and go
It will be a long road but you have to have menatl discipline and a goal. Dont get overwhelmed by the totality of the picture. Just keep plugging away ,one day at a time and eventually you will get there
Look at what social programs the govt has available in your area, ie housing food stamps etc and take advantage of them
Start your new life today ,dont get beat down by this man
Time to start making a plan and moving on
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