A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My story is i have been in a relationship for over two years. I live with him and he is a great person. But, for the last year i would say i have been thinking of leaving him. But, i don't do it. I don't have the guts to do it. I almost left him once when we were having problems. I got in my car at 1:30 in the morning and drove. He begged me to come back and i wasn't going to but my phone died and i had no where to go at 1:30 in the morning. I feel bad everyday because i don't want to be there and I'm leading him on. I carry all of the weight when it comes to money. And he makes more then i do. It pisses me off that he cant spend money like a responsible person and he is always asking me for money. Now his car is all messed up and i already gave him over $300 to fix it. He needs new close, and the list goes on. He is really a great person and i know he loves me, but I'm independent and i cant stand to have someone hanging off me all the time. And that's my problem though because i don't want to leave him with no money and a house and the dog to take care of. But, i cant take it anymore! I cant stand to be in a relationship anymore if i don't want to be there. So, without telling anyone I have decided to leave today when he is not home. It is the only chance i will get. I have class tonight at 6 and i leave right after work to go. He is leaving the house around 6:30 and I'm going to skip class and go buy some boxes. I don't have much so it shouldn't take me long and i have about an hour in a half to leave. but, my problem is i get ideas in my head and I'm all bout it bout it until the time comes then i make excuses and chicken out. But, i haven't told anyone so i don't have to deal with what anyone says. (the only person i would tell is my best friend anyways.) I want out and i need some encouragement! Help me!
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female
reader, purplewasabi  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Tell your best friend! Chances are she will want to help you, and be your moral support if your partner gets aggressive (is this likely?) - and moral support is obviously what you need right now!
There is NO true valid reason for ANYONE to stay in a relationship if they don't want to be, at the end of the day. Especially if you haven't reached a deeper stage to your relationship (discussed serious future plans etc) - you'll make the separation much easier.
Just up and leave. Stay with friends or family, or even in a hotel if you can afford it.
If he contacts you before you're ready to speak about it just keep a cool, calm head and remember that you've been paying for HIS expenses.
Be confident, and be safe! You're doing the right thing and definitely should not have to doubt that. Good luck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Erm dear you are meant to be his partner not his mother!! You need to stand up for yourself as this man is walkin all over you. I'm sure he may very well love you but he has got in to a way of life that he is living of you and this aint fair you need to get out but you need to be brave and do it the correct way. Dont run this is a cowards way to do it stay and do the right things. Pack all your stuff and when he comes back have it all packed in the car ready to go. Sit him down and explain to him exactly how you feel. Then get up and go and dont come back. Dont have any contact with him for at least 3 - 4 weeks. Sort out your head and your life meet new people get new hobbies and never look back. Your way to young to be mothering some bloke. Good luck...!
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