A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,The situation: in new york, upcoming third date, "now or never" kiss her or become friend zoned; afterwards, I leave the country for three weeks.She is gorgeous, smart and kind, and says a tad serious while attracted to guys who make her laugh. She laughs at my jokes, so I must be doing something right.First two dates went well (brunch with cocktail, and cocktail respectively). At "hello" both times, and "bye" post brunch, she received a peck on the cheek while returning with a hug alone. After cocktails is where I made my mistake.Three hours quickly went by, and as we take our leave, not thinking straight I go in for the hug alone, as she had done. She returns a kiss on the cheek. There is a brief hesitant pause, and she goes "have a nice week!" and I say you too and off we are.This was clearly the moment for a kiss, and it had passed.Presently, we are going to a comedy club for the third date. I believe a kiss should happen in the right moment and the question is how to maximize the chances of that moment happening?- kiss before you enter the establishment. something like, say hi with the hug/peck, gently grab her hand and say something, and kiss to follow. (unrealistic / too aggressive?)- take her to a bar after comedy and sit side by side. This is most straightforward, except she is likely to opt out of drinking that night- comedy club only assuming she does not drink - most likely scenario, but at a loss as how to turn this into a kiss well received. we will have a shared table so not much of a chance to get closer. despite this, after our last conversation, comedy club was the right next date.best plan: try to convince her for a drink afterward and proceed as you would. if this fails, then ?Thanks very much. Please feel free to ask for clarification. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 You are overthinking everything and it will just stress you out and you will lose your charm. Main thing is to go with the flow, how did the third date go?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2017):
 Kiss after the date. Doesn't matter if this is after the comedy club or if you go for drinks. Don't wait for the moment to just happen by itself, just go for it like this: Give her a loooong hug, then pull back only a little so that you can look her in the eyes while still holding your arms around her, and say something like "I've been thinking about doing this ever since our second date", and slowly go for the kiss. This would give her enough time to back away if she's not interested, so is the polite way to go about it. It also creates the perfect moment, without you having to wait for it to naturally arise.
Don't just jump at it out of nowhere, though. Like a ninja attack, lol. I've had guys try to do this to me, probably they were nervous and they just took the plunge, but it is just awful. Don't attack her with a kiss, hehe. No, go for the hug, then look her in the eyes and go in slowly for the kiss. This is what we want.
Also remember that once you have kissed, you will probably want to continue kissing. So this is NOT right to do at the beginning of the date, or during the comedy show, as it will be like you are competing with the comedian for attention. You invited her to the show, allow her to watch the show. But what you can do during the show is to hold her hand. And smile at her. Kiss her once you have plenty of time to give more kisses, such as when you say good bye. NOT when she is in a hurry to catch her bus. NOT when you are surrounded by loads of other people. NOT when you are just meeting up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2017): Hold her hand when you walk, look into her eyes and smile.
She's warming-up to you, and you're over-thinking things.
Use your natural charm. Be manly and relaxed.
Kisses are spontaneous and instinctive. The right time presents itself. Be too eager, and her slightly-inflated ego will get a little mileage out of watching you squirm with anticipation. Don't place her up on a pedestal, she'll milk it for all it's worth. Just be sweet and sexy.
My advice, play it cool. She thinks she holds all the cards.
If you do get friend-zoned, always keep this in-mind. It only means she wasn't the right one, and you can always do better. Think any less, and that will be made true by self-fulfilling prophecy. Man-up!
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (25 March 2017):
 Hey stop over thinking the whole thing! Just be relaxed, spontaneous and focus on having fun. It’s gonna be ok, and when you wanna take a kiss be a man and go for it. Promise she will love that you're taking charge of the whole situation.
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