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writes: This is about a certain teacher who I feel that I am in love with. My question is however not concerning my feelings towards him or even perhaps whether or not a relationship between us is possible or even morally wrong. I would like to describe some events which have recently occurred with me and my teacher:A month ago, I was nagging my teacher for my work and he was mildly rude to me. I am quite sensitive and so I took this quite seriously and went through about a week and a half of ignoring him and being nasty to him. After a while of this and him being nice to me all the time he makes a gesture: He says I can hand my work in when I want within reason which I think is very sweet. I forgive him and for a while things are going ok until he says something I see as distasteful: He was talking about how annoying it is that no one comes after school to finish work and says that someone (Me) comes up 'religiously' to finish work. I was annoyed by this comment so I ignored him and, well lets say I go up to see him every Monday and sometimes Wednesday as a routine I just suddenly stop with no explanation, waiting for an apology. (Which is of course is stupid seeing as he doesn’t even know what he has done wrong) After a while of being especially nice to me he gives in and does something which in the first place hurt me. There is a girl in my class lets call her Elle. Well he starts being really nice to Elle all the time and ignoring me. I need him to look at my work and I keep asking him and he keeps saying I'll look at it next lesson. (I used to get him to look at work after school) Then I take up some different work after school that I need to hand in to him and he thinks I want him to look at it, he is nice and he is willing yet he is not like that in class!!! But I am nasty so he is not so happy. I start playing him at his own game and he is being so unprofessional I have to get another teacher to look at my work. He starts being really bad tempered and picking on people for no reason, (Yet not bad tempered with me). My friends say he is trying to make me jealous so I decide maybe if I go and see him like he wants I shall be his favorite again so I go and see him and I am nice he seems hesitant and bewildered. And yet next day as predicted he is really nice again and couldn't give d*** about Elle. He doesn’t even like her he finds her annoying. Now he is being really nice to me he even says sorry for not looking at my work and makes a few gestures to say sorry. He wont leave me alone he is always calling me across the classroom and he's happy really happy!!! He doesn’t pick on people so much anymore and he is so nice to me too nice!! Should I have that kind of hold over him!! Does he fancy me? Not as a teacher but as I man? As much as I know I can’t take this any further until I am over 18 it would be nice to know whether the man who has been the object of my affection since I was 12 years old has feelings for me. (Please take into mind that this is not the only thing that has caused me to wonder whether he has feelings for me there have been other displays of adoration)
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at work, jealous, my teacher Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiona grown man!! woah lol. I have had relationships with 'grown men' before. they are like little boys really. he flirts with me lol so why not flirt back? I shall find out soon wot his feelings are for me and then you understand.
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (18 November 2006):
 Great advice... Let's all encourage her to cause a man to loose his job and career... why would you want to encourage a young girl who is still at school to flirt witha grown man!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): WOAH WOAH WOAH. Wait up here! Leave the poor girl alone, she obviously is in love with the man. If shes hearing what she wants to hear, she wants it to be true. so being advice-givers, we're meant to help her flirt with the guy a little at least! Oh and blonelady? I think he IS flirting with you. My teacher does weird things like that and if you feel you like him and truly believe hes flirting with you dont listen to these people.. they havent ever seen the way he does those things, they only have a mental image.
Okay?
x
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female
reader, honkifuluvnicole  +, writes (14 November 2006):
 If it makes you feel any better...Im madly in love with one of my teachers. And he will do the same thing...he is so sweet. He is so kind and touches me and grabs my hand. One problem...HIS FAMILY! He is married with kids. I want him so bad though...anyways, I just want you to know that I am here for you and I feel the same way as you. Dont give up all hope sweetie.
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reader, Sexybum +, writes (6 November 2006):
Heya
I's say that the main aim of this site is to provide a variety of views for people on all types of anxieties... hopefully views that can brighten their day or make them see things from an angle that they would have never considered themselves....
We can't offer the solution and it is entirely up to the people whom we are giving the advice to whether they take it or not.... We just offer you someone to share your problems with and provide different points of views.
How are you know?
Sexybum
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionis that y u have this site?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 November 2006):
 One last thought, make sure you give this site to your mom. Maybe we can be of service to her.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2006):
You know what? After all this...I'm just plain bored. Good luck with your obession.
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female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (4 November 2006):
Baby you're not going to get the help that you need her.. None of us are in a position to do anything that might sort your 'situation ' out.... whether it be sorting this teacher out or sorting you out....
All the people on Dear Cupid can do is offer you a variety of views... We cannot provide the answers.
You need to have a chat with you parents or a councillor.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he isnt married, hasnt got any kids either. Has pschological isses though. Ditzy blonde chick: I was worried too, I have asked to see a counciller at some point because I am worried too. Its just that: my friends when I asked them they gave me the same advice as you right? They told me I was imaginging things I was obsessed etc... I took my best friend who was most convinced I was imagining things with me one time after school, when she saw us together she changed her mind completely, she said she refused to believe that he fancied me because he couldnt hes a teacher but she said he definately cared about me. Other staff have commented too, I remember there was a helper in our classroom once and after seeing him help me with my work she said he sure likes you! And she made a complaint against him about favouratism and inappropriate behaviour. This is why I am so convinced!! Because people, when the situation is described to them they think it is a typical teenage crush I mean so did my friends until they actually see us together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): Oh sweetie come off this page now! you dont sound well in the head, I'm saying this honestly you need help!
I had bad crushes at 16 but not like this and the others tryed to help sexybum and eyeswideopen there advice is right, but anon was too direct and harsh for you right now. Your mind is racing this will only cause more upset for you because its an honest opinon but what you need is to see a proffesional counceller!
They are trying to help 13 agony aunts tryed to help you dont you understand! we're not going to tell you he loves you, that would be rubbish advice and people are here to help we're not being paid its c'os people want to help you, and no ones slagging you off, post yourself an answer at least it will be the one you want then! Dont you see it's time to stop this you driving yourself mad because your going to weird people out, if you dont stop with this massive obsession (at least you admit it tho you liked him since you where 12!)Somthing's missing in your life hun your looking for that somthing in this Teacher its nothing to do with him really, He is a Teacher he diddnt start teaching to get a schoolgirl then he would be locked up co's he would be a pedofile, where is your Mum? Please talk to her about this or a confidental counceller or ring a councellers free helpline(like childline)Please Take care Ditzy-Blonde-Chick
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 November 2006):
Tell me something, is he married?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHows about I tell you lot the whole story?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionProblem? Its a situation I may be in love with this man, that means he has been doing something right not wrong. I care for him why should I want to get the 'problem' sorted out. I think of him as a man not so much a teacher, this is why my suggestions seem possible. I have been with older married men before. (ugh - I didnt know they were married) therefore it is completely possible for an older man to fancy someone of my age.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol I understand what you are trying to say, I dont get on my high horse because people dont tell me what to hear I get on my high horse because they seem to think they have gone through the same thing as me when they dont know hardly anything about the situation. I am not a problem child lol nothing of the sort! Infact I am the one that usually gets hardly any attention lol! He is the only one it is different with. I barely speak to him, he comes to me. I dont sulk I cut off. When he disrespects me like he did: he didnt not give me attention he purposefully ignored me to get a reaction (He is alas an attention seeker and he provokes reactions from everyone not just me) I am a quiet hardworking student. I have never asked much of him he has served it to me on a plate. I didnt say I wasnt naive I am naive! But not for a 15 year old. What you said about him being worried if he knew what was going through me head: well I am not so sure, if you like and can tell you the full story and you might understand I have only told you a minute proportion of it. It just might take me a while. I asked the question because I wanted more advice, I already have my answer I just need to consider the implications.
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reader, Sexybum +, writes (3 November 2006):
Hey Blond Ladie You say you're not naive you're nearly 16 so you know what you're talking about right?
WRONG!! Thta's why you posted the blimming question in the first place... You say you're not naive but your reading these peoples answers in quite a naive fasion... Why are you taking offense to people because they are not writing what you want to hear!
I'll tell what I think... I think this teacher of yours would be bloody scared to come to class if he knew what were going through your head... Boy if he knew what your thinking I seriously doubt he would talk to you.. He'w probably ask to be moved!! Now before you get on your high horse and shout back at me read the rest of my answer.. Go away and consider it.. Think about it... Then coem back and read it again..
I think the reason for his 'funny' behaviour is probably more to do with other factors in his life outside of work and out of his control... As in an adults life there are all types of difficulties to overcome and it sometimes affects your preformances at work... It is the same fro children and it affects their preformance.. temper... and attitude at school.. If there is something bad going on in his life.. Pherhaps his mum was ill.. He won't be the nicest person to be around.. And he may not have his usual pateince with pupils.. Therefore he will snap at them...
Maybe this girl Elle needed his attention that day.. You never know her parents could've come into the school and said their child was going trough a difficult time or soemthing.. Therefore he helped her with his work...
Also if you are a problem child.. Which you may well be 'seen as' becuase you sulk when you don't get your own way (I'm not teasing this is just fact, you know it because you've admitted it) Then he will give you more attention... All problem childs get more attention..
I think bearing this in mind you have read too much into this.. Your friends have fuelled your curiousity so your not entirely to blame... To answer your question I don't think you need to worry about your teacher.. I think you are safe... However if you still feel uncertain then why not confide in a school counsellor because that is what they are there for. If from what you descibe to her it turns out you are in a bit of danger the appropriate actions will be taken.. If not then at least she can put your mind at rest.
Like I said before you go steaming off at me read this and consider it. You pride yourself for being logical... Well this is a logical answer to your problem.
Regards
Sexybum
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy would I do anything to jeopardise his career? I care about him and anyway it is him making all the moves, spending as much time with me as possible I do nothing to him but flirt, no touching no suggestions nothing. He reacts to me of his own choice. If you think I have been showing him signs of fancying him then I shall say now that I dont. I am mostly blank to him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know some of you had crushes on teachers but not my teacher! Did you actually know personally the teacher in question? Did you spend hours alone with them after school? Did they tell you, you were fit etc... Did your teacher have a bit of a reputation for being a pervert and a risk taker? perhaps.. but certainly not the same. You havent been in my shoes, you dont know me nor the person in question therefore you cant say you have been in the same situation!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 November 2006):
Honey that's what everyone is trying to tell you. We've ALL walked around in those shoes you are wearing right now. You have a typical school girl crush on your teacher. It will pass and you'll be saying the same thing in the future to another young thing. Just don't do anything to jeopardise his career.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnever judge a person unless you have walked a mile in their shoes!
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 November 2006):
Sigh...a child in total denial...case closed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah love to
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006): hi blondeladie i'm going through exactly the same thing wanna chat?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat wasnt the question i asked
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 November 2006):
oops that's TEACHER
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 November 2006):
Listen, it doesn't matter whether you think he "fancies" you or not, it's against the law for a techer to have anything but a professional relationship with a student so let the guy keep his job and move on. Get a hobby or something.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI may well be a snotty nosed kid but the reason I asked people whether they thought he fancied me was because i wanted a second opinion, however I probably didn't explain enough of the situation which may not have helped, I am not dillusional as it was other members of staff and friends who commented on it before I even thought he might. He flirts with me!!! And told me I am well fit, he is shy not distant! He gets close to me at every oppurtunity. I am merely trying to confirm what I already know! ALSO TIP when giving people advice, that is all you're doing you're not going for a character assination. Also i am not a kid thank you. as much as you may think i am i am not!! I am not sad, if you can't take a leap of faith from time to time then I feel sorry for you. I have a life otherwise how could I ask opinions on it! I am not silly i am a straight A student, and i have had relationships with men. yes men! thank you, you have made me realize something. i have realized that in my heart I already know the answer! You may think I am a silly little girl but atleast I don't have to use insults to get my point across! You are the silly little girl I think if you can't open mind your mind to the possibilty that this man fancies me!! And also you used the wrong your in "your a CHILD" its YOU'RE.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am not in blind hope i am in fear
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): You are a very very sad dillusional little girl 4 posts on her have told you hes not interested in you and to move on but you still cling onto the fact he fancies you! why ask the question when your only willing to accept one answer and thats he does fancy you...HE DOESN'T get over it. your a CHILD hes probably got a girlfriend/wife/kids why would he be interested in a little snotty nosed kid like you. He probably doesn't notice your flirting or if he does the reason hes shy is because he knows flirting with a child is inapporpriate and goes quiet hoping you'll be put off.
GET A LIFE YOU SILLY SILLY LITTLE GIRL!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): I'm sorry why do you want to know the teachers first name? Are you in blind hope its the same teacher you got the crush on now???? i'm sorry i don't see what difference it makes honey xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question'same thing!' ha
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am 15 years old nearly 16 not 12 or 13!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell to be fair it was kind of obvious he would use you seeing as you were only 12, i am not naive and this is an entirely different situation
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): Stop this obssession! Fast! I had the same thing for my math teacher in 6th grade, and it was my biggest regret ever! Why? Well he "took" my virginity, I was 12, young and naive. He told he loved me and then he took me to his place. I didn't know something was going to happen, but before I knew it, he was on top of me. Then, after a few months, he left me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanonymous could I ask you a question if you are still on? What was the teacher's first name?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionResponse to anonymous: He doesnt flirt with me that much only when I flirt with, he doesnt even no I like him lol He thought I didnt like him!! He told my friends I was 'neglecting him' He is shy around me, if he flirted wiht me alot I would assume he was just ego stroking, and yet I realized all I have done is flirt with him! And he sees me flirt with every other guy, he respects me too so I hardly think he is taking advantage. And I am already obsessed lol I have fancied him since I was 12!! lol
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 October 2006):
"Other displays of adoration" I'm sorry but you've simply got a over-blown school girl crush. He's not playing games with you, he's simply an over-worked, underpaid, school teacher who happens to care about his students, ALL of his students. Trust me almost every girl goes through this at least one time in her academic career. In the not to distant future you will look back at this and have a huge laugh.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): Let me tell you a story that will hopefully learn you to get this crush out your head. I had a crush on a teacher when i was at school, he wasn't pleasant, strict and had a big attiude problem even the teachers hated him. I suppose i was giving out certain signals to him e.g giving him the eye, playing with my hair. At that point i had just a crush on him. Anyway he noticed i was flirting. And he started flirting back (i'm not talking swapping and changing favorites which you seem to percieve as flirting) i'm talking heavy flirting winking, staring etc he even said he knew i liked him and said in his own words he liked me back, this was just what i wanted right?
Well it was what i thought i did my little crush became a full blown obsession, i ate,drank and slept that man and he knew it, looking back i can see i was just an amusement, he had a wife, a kid he wasn't interested in the silly 15 year old schoolgirl he just enjoyed watching me blush as he stared, watching me squirm as he winked at me. One day he got bored and never bothered with me again, he probably found anothergirl to get his kicks out of. I'm not saying this is going to happen with you, i'm just saying be careful not to get obsessed like i did, i KNEW i was been flirted with, you don't you have to come in here and have people tell you he is, you shouldn't need this if he is. The reality is he won't show any interest in you and if he does (like my crush did) at best he is on a powertrip getting his kicks out of seeing a girl worship him and worst he is a peadophile. I also happen to notice you have posted on here before many times about the same guy he's your i.t teacher am i correct? you've apparently done love tests that tell you because he feels his collar while talking to you hes in love (this is bullshit) Ultimately my advice is first, STOP posting on here, secondly, clear you head of him find a new crush he doesn't have to be in your school year (jesus, i felt the same way about lads in my year as you do in yours yuk!) he could be an older guy even just not one of your teachers. You'll probably hate me for posting this (lets face it truth hurts) But please for your sake stop this, i don't feel this is a crush, your going down the road to obsession ( it wrecks your life, you'll get hurt because he doesn't like you in that way and heres the bonus he won't even notice.)
take care honey, hope this helps xXx
P.S i don't want to see another post about your teacher i want your next post to tell me you've found a nice boyfriend and want some advice about him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question1: I am missing out on nothing with boys in my year (yuck)
2: He USED to give me his undivided attention in class before we had the whole issue and now he does again!
3: I respect that it is not always possible to find time to look at a persons work fact is he was spending the whole lesson looking at Elles so i didnt even get a look - i even had to go and see another teacher about my work!!
4: I didnt think he was trying to make me jealous that was wot my friends thought not me I only figured this when I was nice to him he was suddenly nice to me and Elle was yesterdays news
5: he is unprofessional! He is disrespected by everyone except me and he is an attention seeker!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): i'm sorry to say this but it sounds like you're seeing what you want to see and reading too much into it. He's a teacher, he can't give you undivided attention in a classroom with other students the way he could if you were there after class. But that doesn't mean he is trying to make you jealous. It sounds like a teenage crush which is much more in your head than it is in reality. Forget him and start looking around you at boys your own age otherwise you might end up missing out.
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