A
male
age
36-40,
*ntrex24
writes:Hi, I would like to be more confident around my girlfriend. I always feel so needy around her and i always seem to initiate things from emotional comfort and for sex. Could anyone give me tips on how to be more confident? Thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Thelaird1  +, writes (10 September 2011):
 The other 2 have already touched on what I was going to say.You need to spend time doing your own thing and something you enjoy. Focus your attention to something other than this girl and just enjoy being you and rediscover yourself.Not many girls at all like a needy man and I get the feeling you have lost a few girls because of this.Only you can instill the confidence in yourself and women will be attracted to this. I agree with getting to the gym too and redirect your frustration and use that to build yourself up. With the right training, you get emotional growth as well as muscular. You seem very determined, so use that to your advantage. 12 months from now, you could be a very different and confident person. You have all the power in this situation. Make the most of it.
A
female
reader, curiousandconfused +, writes (10 September 2011):
I totally agree with PerhapsNot about picking up a new hobby and trying new things, working out and not making your girlfriend your go-to person for all things.
I used to be so emotionally insecure with my boyfriends - clingy and terribly jealous. And to think of all the time I wasted, worrying about what they were up to when I could have been working on my life's goal.
There's nothing more attractive than someone who is deeply invested in their passion. Do you have any special talents or talents that you'd like to develop? Anything, or more than one thing that you're interested in? Look into it and do it for yourself. It will improve your life by a thousand percent.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (10 September 2011):
 It all depends on what you feel insecure about. If it's your physical appearance, I always suggest hitting the gym. It's amazing what a bit of muscle definition does for a man's self esteem. Get a new haircut, or some swankier clothes. When you look good, you feel good.
Likewise, when you feel needy, instead of pestering your girlfriend, go talk to a friend, watch TV or or focus your attention on a hobby instead. You could even pick up a new hobby, or try new things. Whatever you do, don't make her your go-to person for all things. Women dislike needy men s much as men hate needy women. If you don't make a conscious effort to curb this, she may leave you, along with other future partners.
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