A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts, I'm in a quandary. I'm married and I've been having an affair with a female coworker for the past 3.5 years. I promised her that I'd leave my husband for her this June after my youngest child graduates from high school. How do I gently let her down and tell her that I'm not leaving my husband? I'm in love with my husband. We have 28 years together. I didn't think my mistress would stick around for as long as she has which is the only reason I told her I'd leave my husband for her as soon as my youngest child graduated. I'm already prepared for your reprimands but I'm more interested in suggestions on how to gently let down my mistress. I want her to move on asap without bringing my husband and I stress and chaos. My husband doesn't know about our affair and it's important that it remains this way. Thanks all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Tell your husband everything. Tell your mistress she's history. You don't cheat no more and don't worry about her. She'll pick up another married woman soon enough cause that's how those cheap fluzzies operate.
A
female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (24 February 2011):
Blonde30s is 100% right when they say "I dont see how you can be (in love with your husband) if you have cheat on him." If you were in love you'd never have cheated. Love is forsaking all others. Sorry, my advice is, tell your husband, break it to him gently, and then go and end it with her and say you never want to see her again. If she still works in the same place as you, find other employment. You made a nasty nest, and now it's time to either clean it up or move out and build a new one. Harsh, I know, but if you LOVE your husband, you wouldn't 1) cheat on him; 2) keep secrets from him 3) lie to him every time you tell him you love him when you're in fact having sex with someone else.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Im not going to tell you how in the wrong you are because im sure you know it.
You need to be very careful in letting her down, as an angry woman is a dangerous thing, and you have to keep in mind it would be very easy for her to tell your husband, along with anyone else she feels like telling.
The quicker you tell her the better, explain to her that you didnt mean to use her at all and you do/did care about her very much but you cant continue as you do not want to break up your family and that is the way it will stay. Expect her to be upset, as anyone would, and expect her not to want to speak to you, mean texts and the sort but hopefully if you let her down in the best way you can, she will eventually get over it and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): My only advice is to tell her that you don't love her and don't see a future with her anymore. Ultimately that is the truth. To protect your family is very important - and although yes you have been cheating it is not her job to tell your husband. You could start the ball rolling by simply starting to cut her out your life more and let things slide. Overall though you do need to make a decision about what you want in life, what this has demonstrated to you, etc.
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