A
female
age
,
*aywe35
writes:hi i would like to know how to get y lover's wife to find out about our affair without her knowing it is me he's having the affair with. I don't want him to know either. the reason is the more unhappy he is at home the more time he coes to me.
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 For the record, an affair does not encourage one to LEAVE a marriage, it encourages them to STAY. An affair makes it more tolerable for them at home. They have happiness, intimacy, laughter, etc. on the outside (you) which makes them able to go home and avoid the issues that were bothering them in the first place. Telling his wife is not going to get him out the door faster and if anything, it will make her want to work on fixing their marriage even more. If this man is unhappy and he was on his way out the door, you can rest assured that your affair has slowed down his forward momentum.
You're not likely to win this battle. Either enjoy what time he's giving you or get out of the "other woman" game altogether because you're not cut out for it.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2010):
Not a good plan. If you suddenly think she will kick him out, or he will leave, bad idea. Statistics prove he won't. He can't be all that unhappy at home, since he still lives with her. I fear you're yet another misguided and perhaps naive mistress. Married men traditionally don't leave their wives and make a mockery of the mistress. And those that do leave? 89% then dump the mistress. You're being used, and if you think for one minute that this will end his marriage and he will come to you, think again. He will either try to make the marriage work, or just use you until he moves on again. What a total waste of your life this will be. Find a single guy. Oh, and if she does find out it's you, then you can say goodbye to a lot of friends, since they won't trust you and your reputation.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 If this man truly is more unhappy at home that he is with you his wife will pick up the signs and, if she choses to do so, will act.
But let me assure you of this, if she wants to know who he is screwing when he is away from home she will find out. Being married does not automatically make a women to thick to be able to get information out of a man who is too thick to realise playing away from home rarely works out for the best for anybody, him, the wife, any children or the screw ee (thats you btw).
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