A
female
age
36-40,
*mbarr
writes:I don't feel as if my family really respects me. I'm the second youngest of four girls so you might say I've got a bit of the middle-child problem. I don't get any recognition as an older sibling from my youngest sister even. It's as if she sees me as some delinquent and things have just gotten worse lately because she has a "real job". I'm a freelance writer, but to my family I'm just a college student with plenty of time on my hands to do stuff for them. What can I do to get the recognition I deserve? The respect I deserve? I can't take coming home to this kind of attitude anymore. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): It's sad that some families feel threatened when a member of the family makes individual choices. Yet to become adults we each need to make individual choices. So some young people are discouraged by their families at a time when they need support and encouragement. Your situation is going to make you very strong. Respect yourself. Don't spend time and energy trying to get the respect of others - that's just a diversion. Respecting yourself regardless of what others think of you - that is true independence. People who can do this have integrity. And integrity will help you in your creative work too. This is your opportunity. You are lucky that you have intelligence, creativity and courage.
A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Would say take a estimation on Urself than raise it at least 10%! I had and still have hard parents(since my sister passed away 6 yrs ago they ve become completely focused on me),completely dominerring and verbally abusive.I feell at most of time sorry for them,especially my mom, although I do love them.
Can say that tilll now, Im 24, i ve been constantlly strugling with them to respect me,as I am. Now i follow my work and things and do not pay much attention on them.
THe respect You mentioned is not Ur problem, but ur siblings.Respect starts from Oneself, If they do not respect you Im in doubt They respect Themselves moreover.
Take that into consideration.
And yest stand up for urself. Thats my advice and opinion
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, samohir +, writes (8 November 2007):
Would say take a estimation on Urself than raise it at least 10%! I had and still have hard parents(since my sister passed away 6 yrs ago they ve become completely focused on me),completely dominerring and verbally abusive.I feell at most of time sorry for them,especially my mom, although I do love them.
Can say that tilll now, Im 24, i ve been constantlly strugling with them to respect me,as I am. Now i follow my work and things and do not pay much attention on them.
THe respect You mentioned is not Ur problem, but ur siblings.Respect starts from Oneself, If they do not respect you Im in doubt They respect Themselves moreover.
Take that into consideration.
And yest stand up for urself. Thats my advice and opinion
Best of luck
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Demand respect. You have that right. I'm not saying be mean about it. You can demand without coming off in a bad way. The problem we face is people don't want to offend others. Offending means starting a confrontation.
You need to assure yourself that you are a good person, and you not only deserve respect, but you won't settle for anything less. Now if someone says something rude to you, you simply say "I really don't appreciate you talking to me that way." In demanding respect, at times others wont see things the same way you do. All though they may get upset at the beginning, teaching them the new way to treat you will begin being automatic.
Now one of the biggest areas and the absolute most important is not how they treat you, but how you treat yourself. Respect from others begins with self respect. It begins with your personal standards. Your character, your integrity, and your beliefs. There's nothing worse than seeing someone change their beliefs every time they meet someone who doesn't share the beliefs they do. Because they want to be liked, their willing to compromise their biggest asset, themselves.
There are certain standards I live by. I don't believe there is ever an excuse to cheat on someone. I don't believe anyone has the right to hurt or damage anyone else. I don't believe in controlling behaviors, and directing someone to do for me to make me feel better. Doing so means It's at their expense it's being done. I believe everyone deserves respect, even if they don't return it. I believe in doing for others without expecting anything in return for doing it. I believe finding happiness without being in a relationship first is important in having a happy relationship. I believe God plays a big roll in everyones life, all though some don't believe. Those who do, know He does, those who don't call it luck.
This is an example of my beliefs that I live by. They are part of my character, and can't be compromised.
Take cheating for instance, since we have so many that ask questions which that's involved. If I were to date, and she wasn't the best pick, mean, abusive, drunk or anything else that could take place. Quite a few people find someone else to sleep with to fill the void or avoid the pain. Being part of my core beliefs regarding cheating, I still wouldn't be tempted to do what so many others do. Even if she's a bad choice, not cheating is who I am.
That's about respect. Now about recognition. Some people just don't recognize or get excited at the same things you do. I use to have a job that prior to having it, a psychologist (because of a learning disorder) said I'd never be able to work. Gave me the letter for social security. I threw it away, and was determined to prove that diagnosis wrong. Got a job, which I loved and kept for 6 years. Prior to going back to school, I worked in upper management for almost 10 years. Not bad for someone who was told they'd never be able to work. Now because of that I gave myself recognition. Every two weeks when I'd get paid, I'd treat myself to dinner and a glass of wine to go with it. That was my way of recognizing my own accomplishments of beating the diagnosis. Even if you're not recognized by others, recognize yourself. Accomplishments are personal before they're public.
I hope this helps you. Sorry if it's a bit long. I get to typing and my fingers just keep on going. lol Take care.
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