A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I dated this girl for 4 months and I was really in love with her, we went back and forth a few times, we had our problems, we got into fights, i would get really jealous about other guys and her (turned out i had nothing to worry about atleast on her side of things),and she would get mad at me because i loved to party a little to hard, in the end i broke up with her and honestly i dont even know why except that i was being stupid and was attracted to this other girl so we were apart for a bit we both dated 1 other person and now we are both single and i want her back she said she still loves me and does to but wants to think about it for a little bit first (because i broke her heart, also her parents hate me now because i basically broke up with her for another girl) so my question is would you take back a guy who did that to you? could you ever feel safe with him again? trust him again?
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broke up, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): Of course what you did really hurts. You love her but you chose to let her feel that she's nothing to you. Anyway, not the time to argue with what you did. I just want to give you an advise and let you give your spare time to read this article about : "How to get a girl like you again". Please try to understand and spend time or effort in following what was said in this article, http://www.relationshipsportal.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you-again/ ..They have given great words and inspiring messages for you to focus on it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): Of course what you did really hurts. You love her but you chose to let her feel that she's nothing to you. Anyway, not the time to argue with what you did. I just want to give you an advise and let you give your spare time to read this article about : "How to get a girl like you again". Please try to understand and spend time or effort in following what was said in this article, http://www.relationshipsportal.com/how-to-get-a-girl-to-like-you-again/ ..They have given great words and inspiring messages for you to focus on it.
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A
male
reader, corbandallas  +, writes (31 January 2012):
Been here man, and it sucks, I however didn't leave my girlfriend for another girl. If you really want her back you're going to have to work at it. By her flowers, surprise her at work (that works with some girls, others it will just piss them off). You have to show her you're sincere.
oh, and the partying thing has definitely have to stop and I'm pretty sure you with have trust issues again. It isn't going to be easy, you will have to work at it, but it is possible. Don't hound her though, you'll just push her away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): The fear would be that if you did it once, you are even more so capable of doing it again. So you are untrustworthy and demonstrated what your value system is, which is based in selfishness and laziness.If a man has these traits and can lie easily- there is no way a healthy or happy relationship will occur.I think you will still be insecure and jealous- that is a hard habit to overcome so counselling would be advised otherwise the whole scenario plays out.I think you use it as an excuse to hurt and go after other women. I don't think you can currently be monogamous.Also that you are a partier and she seems to not be and you would put drinking before her and the relationship - not healthy or stable either.I'm glad this young woman is very wise and knows what she wants and needs for a lasting relationship and is not jumping on your offer. You haven't shown improvement or a desire to be what she seeks.Until you do want what she wants- stay away.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): yep m8t. like blondie30 says friends 1st. me and my girl we mates 4 a year and now we together.
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A
female
reader, Lady Confused  +, writes (30 January 2012):
I am not sure if this could work a second time around. You are going to have to pull out all the stops. Past behaviour predicts future behaviour and she will most probably not make it easy for you because of the lack of trust. And you will not only have to win her over but the parents as well. Are you ready to put up with all that and prove to her that she is the only one for you? If you quit half way into it, you will break her heart again.
If the answer is no, then let her be and move on with her life.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Hi,
Yes, yes, yes to all your questions. Now, the big question is: you want to get back together with her? Before you get back together, you have to absolutely make sure that you do really want to be with her. Not just saying in words, but really commit to her only. She's been hurt by you before and she doesn't deserve to go through it all again. If you do get back together, it might take a little while for her to be able to trust you again, but if you are truly honest with her, I am sure you can make this relationship work. Remember what people say, "actions speaks louder than words". I hope you can make the right decision and hope that you can make this relationship successful the second time around.
Good luck!
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