A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend kept going through my email. He read emails, accused me of sleeping with multiple guys in my past (pretty much any guy). He then would contact them as if it was me to ask them if I had sex with them. He created a fb profile of a guy with who i had a relationship and wrote to me from his name to see if I react. Every single time I find out he does this stuff he denies it with a straight face until I show him the proof.A couple weeks ago I broke up with him and left to travel overseas. I asked him to move his stuff out of my apartment while I am gone. Instead, he writes me romantic letters, how much he misses me and tells me he'll be fighting for our love. He also told me he lives in my apartment right now (even though I asked him to leave and leave the key that he has). Last time I talked to him on skype he started yelling at me because he found some hard drive on which I stored information and apparently I had pictures with my ex-husband on that drive ( I saved all information at once and didnt really care what was) on it.I don't trust this man at all, but I know I will feel guilty to call the police on him. What should I do? I want him out of my life
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2014): Well, he has broken the law, but I'm not sure if you would necessarily have to press charges. Definitely break up with him. If you are afraid of him--or if it is at all likely that he may become violent--then let him know from a distance. Give him a deadline to move out, and then do not be in the apartment at that time. If he refuses, then talk to your landlord and the police. If you feel guilty about pressing charges, I'm pretty sure that you could get their assistance without their arresting him. You do have the right to ask them to be present while he moves out. You can have an officer accompany you to the apartment if you do not feel safe.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2014):
 Stop talking to him over Skype. When you get back, contact your landlord and tell the EX that he has 1 week to move his stuff out or you WILL call the police.
YOU are ASSUMING that he is thinking like a normal person, he isn't.
You did a really dumb thing is not making him move his stuff BEFORE you left, and then hanged the locks. But that is hindsight.
He is going through your stuff. It's ridiculous.
I suggest you ask someone you can trust to BE there while you tell him to get his shit and move out. I'd ask the BIGGEST make friend you have.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 August 2014):
 So you left a known liar with a history of stalking behaviors and invasion of privacy behaviors alone with your stuff while you left the country? And expected him to skedaddle with no problems?
In between the break up and the flight overseas should have been a move out and lock change.
Is his name on the lease? Does he have legal standing to be in the apartment?
I would get one of your friends to come over and collect all your personal data devices (such as the hard drive) and your personal documents like your birth certificate, divorce decree, etc.
No, in fact, I would fly back and deal with it yourself.
Can you please explain why he didn't vacate the apartment before you left?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2014): If his name isn't on the lease, why haven't you spoken to your landlord? If you want him out, you had better seek legal advice to find out what your legal rights are in your state. If he is on the lease, there is nothing much you can do; but wait until the lease runs out, and find a new apartment. Or your landlord can refuse to renew the lease to allow him; or either of you to remain.
Landlords don't much care for domestic disputes and conflicts between tenants. Especially when there are close neighbors and other tenants. So start saving in the event your only option is to move. Call the police if you cannot deal with this situation. There will be no arrests or charges, if he doesn't break the law. The police cannot evict people. You cannot lock him out if he is officially on the lease, or he can prove he has been living there with rent receipts or utilities in his name.
Send him a certified letter asking him to vacate the premises within 30-days, and send a copy to your landlord. Then seek legal advice from that point. It's really up to the landlord to evict tenants. If the rent is paid on time and there are no complaints from neighbors, there really is no legitimate reason to. If he must break the lease; then you owe him his share of the rental deposit, or he can sue you for it.
If you were married, you might have more rights. If he isn't violent or breaking the law, you pretty much have to enforce your own decision. Moving is the most productive remedy, and will give you a fresh start. If he is relentlessly harassing you; you may have to file a legal restraining order.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 August 2014):
 OK, this is border-line scary..guilt be damned! You definetly need a little police involvement lest you be stalked or worse for days/months. This guy oviously cannot deal with the reality of a break-up so you need to protect yourself. Just ask any women that has been the victem of similar situations and I'll bet you if they are still around to help you, they'll advise the same. Save yourself not your pride. Good Luck
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