A
male
age
36-40,
*onfusedFella
writes:Its been a year and a half since i split up with my ex who im still in love with. I realised i couldnt be without her and tried to get her back but she was very confused and possibly shocked at my revelation.she text me the next morning to reveal that at this present moment she needed space and couldnt be with me. I left her alone for a couple of months and then called her once and after several conversations, one night out of no where, she blurted out 'You Scare Me'!. I was confused and deeply offended as i thought she thought i was some sort of psychopath or something. I asked her to explain herself but she said she couldnt at this moment in time and she said she would call me and explain. I though took offence and told her not to bother and i would never call her again (which i deeply regret). Having said that i really do miss her and its been 4months since we last spoke and im yearning for her. shes changed her number but has decided not to give it to me; possibly due to my comments. Im confused, i really love this girl and dont know what to do. The reason for us breaking up in the first place was due to a silly misundersatnding and possibly due to my immaturity. I really want to make it with this girl as i believe we had something special pre the the misunderstanding. Using hindsight i realised i did make a lot of mistakes and i was didnt take any blame but was willing to blame her for everything. And my inconsistent calls have probably let me down too. Im much wiser now and i realise i had something that was perfect for me, and i wouldnt let it slip by again. id like to hear as my opinions as possible
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my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ConfusedFella +, writes (11 July 2008):
ConfusedFella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks For The Advice Guys. But Id Love To Hear More Opinions.
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 It really depends how you word the letter. If you keep it friendly and sincerely apologetic without any instigation for her to get in touch wit you, meaning she wont feel pressured and doesn't feel like this is a beg, then shewill receive it quiet well and she may get in touch with you.
Any other way and i would say the chances of her talking to you drop a bit.
As for you find out her number that is a major no no. Thats borderline stalkerish and would ruin your chances which right now are quite low. Let her be the one to give her number to you. If she does that will be a big sign of he mind changing. And dont ask for it. Let her give it to you.
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A
male
reader, ConfusedFella +, writes (7 July 2008):
ConfusedFella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello i must thank you both for your responses. And i will take them into consideration. The letter does sound like a good idea, but how do you reckon she'l react? and how about getting her number from my friend and just calling her?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 I have to say that it doesn't sound promising for you. If she hasn't contacted you after 4 months, my guess is that she has moved on. The fact that she has chosen not to give you her new number speaks volumes to me. She doesn't want to talk to you, I'm afraid.
The fact is that the combination of your behavior while you were in the relationship and the subsequent calls and your comment that you would never call her again probably have put her off you for good. Again, I go back to that lack of contact for 4 months; this is not the sign of a woman who is interested in reconciliation.
You might try writing the letter and mailing it to her, but I don't hold out much hope for this changing her mind, there might be too much negative history for her to think that you two have a positive future possible.
Sorry for the glum analysis; I hope that you can learn from this experience and the next relationship will benefit from your new understanding of yourself.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (7 July 2008):
You know when a girl says "you scare me" its not always due to the fact that she thinks you are crazy or phsycopathic. It may just be do to the fact that when it comes to the idea of you she feels scared emotionally of getting back together and being hurt agian. Something she is probably feeling right now after the last call. I am sure when you told her not to bother she felt hot flushed in the face knowing she said something utterly wrong and not with the right intention.Do you have her address? May I suggest you send her a letter and some flowers appologising for your behaviour and telling her how you feel whilst also recognising her space and stating to her you understand if she doesn't get back in touch with you although you would like it if she would and would if she would consider starting over again clean slate as friends.I wish youthe best there.
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