A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Me and my ex split up about a 8 months ago, after being together for 4 and half years, for various different reasons. One, she had slept with another guy while we were on a break where we had a mutual agreement to not do such a thing. Another, she had wanted me to make a long term commitment after the incident and I refused. During the past 8 months, I have been rather cold to her and haven't really paid much attention as I was angry and wanted to on. In the past 8 months, I have been with other women and tried forget about my ex and get over her. I have however realized that since our split up, I haven't really stopped thinking about her and was never happy with other women. The more I think of it, the more perfect she seems. I finally told her what was running through my mind about a couple of weeks back and at first, she was really happy and wanted to jump into the relationship. After some thinking though, she told me she has been seeing someone who made her happy while I was ignoring her. She isn't in a relationship with him but she wants to be soon and believes that its too late. I am not sure what to do, I really want to forget about her but that just doesnt seem to be working. I am also okay with waiting for her but I feel that it might just make things much worse. I kinda feel its my mistake and I deserve all of this for all the times I have made her unhappy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2013): Well you shouldve thought it through before you went ignoring her. Sometimes us girls falls in love easily and can quickly fall out even faster. Better treat us how you'd like to be treat
A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (19 January 2013):
This doesn't sound like a relationship that has been working. On-again, off-again relationships are those that aren't working. Don't put yourself on hold to be the fall-back guy (second choice) if her other bf doesn't work out.
You say the more you think of her, the more perfect she seems. That just means you have created a fantasy, as no-one is perfect. It could also explain why you are having trouble appreciating other girls.
Stop bearing all of the guilt for the relationship not working. That's just ridiculous. It jus simplly didn't work and as you said she slept with someone else so it doesn't sound like ti's all your fault. In fact whose fault it is is irrelevant. Move on.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (19 January 2013):
Keep in contact with her, but don't wait for her. Keep doing your thing and if the two of you are single at the same time then give it another shot.
You could ask her on a date and sort of start from scratch. There is no reasonshe needs to be exclusive with this other guy.
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