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I want my boyfriend to look "girly" during sex

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Question - (19 July 2012) 15 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

okay here goes! I want my boyfriend to wear black eyeliner (around the entire eye) and have sex with me. just once. maybe very occasionally since it's very weird but it's a fantasy i want fufilled! i don't know how he's going to feel about this, probably very turned off that i want him to look "girly." how do I bring up this topic?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012):

well why not bring up the topic just before engaging in intercourse (dare him in a playful and seductive way). .guys will sometimes do the darnest things just to get laid either it be your guy or someone totally different.... good luck.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (20 July 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntGood luck! O_O (practicing eyeliner.... ;) )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012):

Thanks for your responses everyone! I only want my boyfriend to wear black eyeliner. No lipsticks, no skirts... No way in fact. I'll use the tips you guys gave me to hint it. Thanks! And definitely not girly, just a little goth. Just eyeliner!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntDo you actually want him to look 'girly' or is this about him looking a bit Goth, or like Captain Jack Sparrow?

Is he into fantasy and sexual play? Or is he strictly a" do it in the approved manner or not at all" kind of guy? Has he asked you to wear a particular outfit or makeup in bed?

Tell him the thought of doing it with a masculine hunk of man with brooding eyes, like a vampire or rock god, makes you weak at the knees and you are already wet just picturing the two of you having an amazing time in bed, as he bores into you with those luscious black-lined eyes and his delicious penis....

That doesn't sound too 'girly,' now, does it, boys?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSerpico,

Your reply points out so well exactly what might happen when she brings up this request. I suspect the percentage of guys who would echo you response would be in the 80's.

I got a nice chuckle from your parting line as well. I believe that feminism has not managed to wipe out that particular fantasy.

I guess I don't want people to think I'm all about repressing fantasies. It's just that we are so entitled these days. People seem to think that just because they have become obsessed with some thing, that they deserve to have it. Or to put it more bluntly: just because you have an idea, doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. So fantasize away, just think before you Act on your fantasy.

FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012):

I don't think it's asking him to look girly if it's only eyeliner. I do find it really sexy on a guy (yes it's the rock star image - Dave Gahan for example) but not because it's feminine at all. He needn't feel emasculated. Mind you that doesn't mean he'll be up for it necessarily - Test the waters, see what his response is...

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntCertainly eyeliner, would be easier than asking him to be "girly". There are many more difficult sexual fantasies out there.

I would like to sound a word of caution. Some fantasies should stay in your mind. For example my wife has a prostitution fantasy. We don't even role play it. We certainly don't need to try it for real.

Now I see nothing wrong with eyeliner, or girlishness or even the skirt that was mentioned, especially in private between trusted partners. But, that is just my private opinion. Many guys and some girls too are just plain freaked out by the idea of a guy doing anything feminine. Some will see agreeing to wearing eyeliner as a sign of homosexuality. Some girls would ask a guy to wear makeup just to prove that he really is gay. The truth is most homosexual men dress very manly. How your boyfriend views it is what is important here. I think you should have that in mind before you ask him.

Second I think that you should think hard about Why you want this. Do you have a rock star craving? Or are you wanting to experiment? And is it possible that you may want more girly stuff in the future?

You see, if you tell him that it is just this one time, then later you want it occasionally, he will see you as dishonest. If you tell him it isn't girly, then later you want to add lipstick or girly clothes, he won't trust you.

I realize that you are young now and don't know what you may want in the future, but relationships are built on trust so try to be as open and honest as you can.

Anyway this is a ticklish topic and you are really taking some risk asking for this fantasy to be fulfilled. I hope it works out well for both of you.

FA

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

If my gf asked me to do something like this, I would look at her like she had a third eye in the middle of her forehead.

Just my viewpoint, but Im a man and like to be the man in the relationship. Im not putting one womans clothing and Im not putting on makeup. If you want that, than IMO you need to find a guy who would be willing to emasculate himself like that. Just dont expect that to be the same guy who grabs you by the hair to pull you into bed.....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012):

Don't tell him you want him to look "girly" there are plenty of musicians etc that wear eye liner, like Jared Leto or Kurt Cobain, just tell him you want to put some on him to see how it looks. Tell him you want to see him with that "rock star" look. Definitely don't talk about being girly.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI would not tell him you want him to look "girly". It's kinda emasculating and maybe not the sexiest thing for most guys IMHO

Now if you talk to him and tell him that you have this fantasy, where he wears eyeliner and it's in your opinion VERY much a turn on for you, I'm pretty sure he will consider trying it or doing it for you.

Or you could tell him you had this VERY hot dream about HIM, where he wore eyeliner, and now you can't stop thinking about it... that might sell it too.

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A male reader, grymsoul United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

grymsoul agony auntYou should just ask him. The weirdest thing my girlfriend ask me to do during sex was wear a skirt. She had a fleeting moment of shemale fetish. I did. . .Because I loved her and wanted to fulfill her fantasy. . .also she swore no one would know.

If he really cares for you then he will consider it and not judge. You should also fulfill one of HIS weird fetishes to sweeten the deal. I made my gf have sex with me for the next 24 hours, anytime and anywhere I wanted.

You could also turn it into a game where you both dare eachother to do stuff you wouldn't normally do. The first one to say "I quit" loses the game. I hope it works out for you.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 July 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntbest thing to do is ask him if he would play it just this once... and see how it goes.. he may get turned on looking girly for you...

you don't know till you ask...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012):

My girlfriend is just like you. I do this for her from time to time. I think you should just tell him outright and state that this is something you will never tell anyone, and it will never be used against him. I found it weird at first, but she does things for me that she may find weird, so it cuts both ways.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012):

Simple. Ask him if he has a fantasy he'd like you to do for/with him. Then say "yes, I'll do that if you do this for me...."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012):

I love eyeliner on a guy. A subtle way would be to watch a movie with a guy wearing eyeliner in it and be like "i do love a guy with eyeliner..." and see where the conversation leads. Two good films that I know of with hunky eyeliner men in is Jennifer's Body and Burlesque. Sex allows you to live out your fantasies and you should never be ashamed of them. I've asked my boyfriend to do all sorts of things and he gets turned on because he knows it's turning me on. Good luck! x

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