A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How is seating at weddings usually arranged? I know it's immediate family in the first row... And then what? There are some people I'd like at my wedding but I don't know how to see them. Some know a lot of people coming and some know nobody!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Traditionally, in Western Christian churches the bride’s family sits on the left side of the aisle while the groom’s family sits on the right. The problems sometimes begin when there are step-parents.
The mothers always have the best seats, in the front row. The fathers sit beside them, but in the case of a step-parent, the mother of the bride or mother of the groom would still sit at the front with her new partner, or on her own. The father would sit in the 2nd row, with or without a new partner.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Ooooopps Read the Question Abella!!!
I think, in hindsight, that you meant the actual wedding, not the reception. With egg on my face I will proceed.
At the wedding, seating can be affected by which religion is central at the wedding. But at the weddings I attend. as the bride walks up the aisle, to meet her groom, her family and friends are on the left and his family and friends are on the right.
yes the first row are her nearest and dearest closest to the aisle. Meaning her parents first, then siblings and their partners and any children of those persons.
But behind that?
Today weddings are more casual.
It is often first in best dressed and the guests sit where they are most comfortable.
Some guests don't even know about the left or right rule.
To make sure things go smoothly it is not unusual for some family ushers to shepherd people to their seats to balance things a little
And most people are so happy and honoured to know they have been invited that they are happy to sit where there is room for them.
It is only Royal weddings that seem to still stick to very formal old rules about who sits where depending on their importance in some ancient hierachy that is just a mystery to mere mortals like me.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 July 2012):
The Bride and Groom are usually in the most prominent place where as many people as possible can see them and toast them. Then Flanked by attendants and their parents.
Usually with a dance area in front of the above table.
I have attended a wedding where the grooms parents and the groom's attendants were at one long table. Then a separate table had the bride's parents and the brides attendants. Then the bride and groom were together at a table in between the two said long tables. It seemed odd and I don't think it worked.
My favourite weddings then have all the guests at circular tables of ten or eight. These encourage conversation and the centrepiece can really shine in the middle of the table. And then ensure that at least two different couples do know each other or have something in common with at least one or two other couples. And I love weddings where there is a little mixing of her family and friends at other tables with his family and friends.
My least favourite weddings are where people are sat at huge long tressles tables that sem to go on forever. It is hard to have a conversation except with the people directly opposite or on one's left or right. Other people are too far away to hear or converse with.
I don't like people who try to make a point or hurt another guest. I once went to an appalling wedding where the parents in law of the Sister of the bride were put on the bridal table with the bride, groom, his parents, her parents and then the bridal attendants. Then the banished sister? Who I could not see had done anything wrong, was put at the back near the exit door from the kitchen. It was the most appalling bad manners and it reflected more on the mother of the bride and the bride for some current feud they were waging against the banished sister of the bride.
The most important thing is to try to foster harmony and Good Cheer. It is very happy day. And a Huge day to remember for the Bride and the Groom.
And A day to celebrate a happy occasion. Respect everyone and take into account other's feelings. It can be a very expensive day. Try to make it happy, as it should be. Lots weddings that really work are not too formal and are lots of fun.
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